My 2 Children hate me

I moved upstate NY 14 years ago to have a better life for my children as I was just over my 3rd divorce and knew that my kids would have a better life here then in NYC and Long Island.  I moved into my mothers house at the end of the school year after selling my house which I lived in for 27 years and 18 months with my mother who was undermining my relationship with my children who were 16 and 9.  My son was a daily pot smoker, a great artist who won many awards and my daughter was brilliant at school.  Both went to public and private schools in Queens.  My son was failing everything, my daughter was excelling at everything she did.  I moved up here so that I would have no interference with my mother who had controlled my life for 50 years and I had almost recovered from agoraphobia and was a recovering alcoholic for over 10 years(short time only 5 years of drinking every 3 days before that).  My son had seen me drunk for the first 5 years of his life, my daughter never saw me drunk.  I now have over 24 years sober.  My mother did not want me to move as she was 83.  I invited her to move upstate with me and she said never, and how could I leave her. 
As soon as I moved up here( not with all my stuff, just a small trailer), my son got worse and was hanging out with bad company and not his normal friends up here as I had been coming up here his entire life and my entire life.  He bought cars without my consent and was very rebellious and did not stop his drugging.  My daughter was fine and made friends.  They both started school which my son was absent from most of the time but my daughter made many friends and was a A+ student.  My ex came up every other weekend to take her back to Long Island to see his grandparents and take her many places as he had just moved back from Florida.
My mother was very upset by my move and caned me, yelled at me for fixing up her house which she never did any work in for over 40 years.  I immediately bought a very large Victorian house around the corner which made her very angry as she wanted me back in Queens to live with her again.  I moved into this big house which had a commercial garage and apt. building to start a business at home.  We moved in in Feb of 2000, my son stayed at my mothers house here and I made him move in with us.  Things got much worse with my son as he was not going to school and finally arrested me for throwing cold coffee on him when he did not take his regents which I was going to drive him to at the last minute.  My mother intervened and finally after I threw him out after warnings from my ex, that I had to get rid of him or he would take me to court for custody of my daughter.  He bought a house up here to be closer to him in 2001. 
Things got worse as my mother enabled my son with a 18 grand cd so he could live up here.  I pulled his drivers license as I knew he was drinking, drugging and I did not want him to drive his muscle car in that condition and kill himself or others.  My mother was infuriated and took him to live with her in NYC and sued me for child support.  He was 17 now and still was not going to school.  She lost the case and forevermore was angry with me-like how could I do this to her and my son.
I made my house into a bed and breakfast for money and was successful at this till 2009.  My daughter was ok till a kid across the street killed himself with a gun, this was her best friend at that time, she was only 10 when this happened.  She then went wild and started having sex with boys and girls, wrote that on facebook and also was putting hardcore porn of herself online.  I told her father this, gave him her computer and he then took her after she tried to kill me with a knife because I would not drive her to her to the nearest city which was 50 miles away every weekend.  She also took her father to court so that he could only see her 2 nights a month and won.  I could not take this stress and gave her to her dad in 2005.  I thought it would be temporary but he went to court and got full custody as she was angry with me and refused to speak to me or see me.  She was 15 when this happened.  I have not seen her in person since this occured in 2005.
Finally in 2009, she reached out to me and skyped me while she was in college but still refused to see or call me.  She graduated from college in 2012, moved into her other grandmothers house, her dads and recently moved into her own apt.  She reached out to me last year to have a relationship with me but on her terms.  One email a month, a phone call whenever and still was not ready to see me.
My mother had died in 2011 and my son, daughter, ex did not tell me for 3 days.  The funeral parlor called me and wanted me to sign papers which I refused to do as I would have been liable for the bill.  I had a feeling that she had written me out of her will and my son would get everything.  They buried her a week later and had a memorial service for her which I was not allowed to attend.  The will came in and yes, I was written out of it and my son was 28 and got everything plus was executor.  Her death was strange as he was in the hospital at the time of her death but left the room for 10 minutes when she expired.  I feel there was foul play as I just got the death certificate and it is all wrong. 
I am now in great jeopardy of losing my house as I had to close my business due to the economy and am very poor.  I have been taken advantage of by many people up here with fixing up my house.  I tried to take out a reverse mortgage and they told me no after 8 months after I put in 3000 to fix it to their standards.  I will try to sue them with consumer fraud.  I am in the process of getting my mothers autopsy as my son had ordered one to see why she died as she was to leave the hospital the next day.  I find it very strange that my son was there when her death occured.  He got everything and refuses to speak to me as I refused to sign the probate papers.  He is keeping up both houses(he did inherit about 2-3 million dollars from my mother which was to be mine) and I do not know if he works and know he has no education but a GED.
Please tell me what to do as I am so hurt, tired and know I am a PAS parent and my mother was a narcissist as was my ex and now my kids.  Help me please.