My 11 year old self

When I was 11 I was so living in Ottawa. Everything was going good. My mom had just got a new job in Edmonton and was going out there while I stayed with her boyfriend. One day her boyfriend said he had a surprise for me and to trust him. He was being so nice. We went out for ice cream went to the movies. When we got home he told me to go to my room for my last surprise. He forced me to have sex with him. He made me have sex with him every night when my mom would go to work. I told her about it but she didn't listen. Because she didn't believe me I didn't tell any one else because I didn't want people to call me a liar. When I was 12 I became pregnant. At around 3 months my mom got a job opportunity that would last 8 months in Edmonton. She didn't know I was pregnant. At 6 months on January 26th I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy in my bedroom. I was home alone. The baby cried for 2 minutes and then started turning blue.  I will never forget how blue he turned. He died. I didn't know what to do. I was scared. I did what I thought at the time was right. I buried him in the back yard. I named him Logan. I miss him everyday everyday. I'm now 20 and this still affects me everyday.