musings

Our weather in Calgary is very unpredictable.  We had a blizzard a couple of weeks ago.  It is now warm and the snow is almost melted.  I am feeling thick headed and a bit dizzy - a sure sign that the weather is about to change again.  We get warm winds over the mountains called Chinook winds.  Apparently it is an indigenous word meaning snow eater - an apt description.  They often last a day or 2 and it is back to winter!

I did get out walking yesterday.  It was warm - I was a sweaty mess when I got home.  I did about 3 miles and I have a hill to climb coming home.  

My moods are a bit unpredictable - it happens every November as Lisa's angel day is December 1.  I get excited, thinking about Christmas with Cevyn and the girls but I am so bummed that it is yet another Chrismas without Lisa.  At least I know what the issue is.  Joe still finds it hard when I get down.  He so wants to fix it.  After 54 years, you'd think he would be used to my ups and downs.

The one positive is that the sun rises later so I get to watch it on most mornings.  We have a huge window facing East.  It gives me a lift to see the magnificent colours that change from deep fuscia to pastels just before the sun rises.  I have tried to photograph it but the camera doesn't do it justice.

I keep in touch with my niece who lost her son to a drug overdose.  She seems to be doing okay.  I also see Leslie, the friend who lost her husband.  She is doing better.  She and Jack had a cruise planned to Antarctica.  She was going to cancel it but decided to invite her brother Jack instead.  Hubby Jack thought it was a great idea!  They leave on the 6th and come back on the 24th.  It is going to be a phenomenal trip.  

We leave for Ottawa on the 19th.  Cevyn has started decorating.  Halloween is her favourite holiday but Christmas is a close second.  She is looking forward to having the family together.  Her dad and Beth (the mother of David who died a year ago) are now divorced.  Beth has always been a narcissist.  She got angry because Harvey would not leave Cevyn and move to Alberta with her.  She is now blaming Harvey and Cevyn for the fact that David committed suicide.  It is a sad state of affairs.  Harvey and I have had our moments - I was very hard on him after Lisa died.  But one thing I know is that he really tried to make the marriage work. He just was not willing to leave his daughter and granddaughters, and a job he loves to move back West. Cevyn is happy to see Beth gone and will not allow her anywhere near the girls.  She won't even share photos with her.  She was devastated when David died and to have his mom blame her was a kick in the gut.

I am coming to terms with the fact that our travel days are no longer as exciting as in the past.  In fact, we go back and forth to Ottawa.  When I start feeling 'poor me' I give myself a talking to.  I have seen more of the world than I ever dreamed.  Joe does photos and has Shutterfly books of most of the countries we either visited or lived in!  They take up a good sized book shelf!  So when I want to go somewhere, I pull out a photo book and revisit my favourite places.

I hope my American friends had a good Thanksgiving!  I know how hard holidays are.

'Missing Lisa' is really missing Lisa today.