Musing About Things

I am sitting here, contemplating all things life related. I had PT yesterday. We've taken away most of my exercises, added a new stretch; and here I just spent good money on home equipment only to now not be able to do the exercises. That will teach me to be proactive in the future. Ha ha. We are backing off, taking an extremely conservative approach again...this happened last time prior to me being sent for yet another surgery. I am going for exrays, perhaps tomorrow or Monday depending on hubby's schedule. He drives me and picks me up now from everything. 
A friend wants to go to a local quilt show this weekend. I am a quilter unable to quilt. I was a runner now unable to run even one step. I hope to be able to quilt again as I have a stash like Mt. Olympus. I waste nothing!! When talking with my friend...one of only a few left after my diagnosis scared off the ones I thought were friends. ( never a bad thing though you think so at the time),she made a comment that sent a twinge through my heart. PT is tough for most recovering from surgery. It sure is for me and I've had 5 surgeries in two years. I gut it out, do what I'm told and am never in control of my recovery. I've learned that and accept it now. My body will recover at it's own rate and there are many variables at play here folks. Our central nervous systems are fragile things. The simple stressors of every day life can cause us pain, depending upon the conditions at the time, level of tiredness, other stressors, other health concerns, support systems in place, emotions, depression, etc, etc. Mine will roll with the punches and do whatever it will do, heal at it's own pace, not my expectations.  My friend equated my new level of pain with the addition of exercising. How could I take this the wrong way? in my heart and mind? But I did. I used to try to explain myself, my feelings, my functions...but sigh* it's not worth the effort. Only another sufferer of DDD will "get" it. I give up completely. I don't need or welcome advice from well meaning strangers; no holistic ingredient, or yogic meditation will heal me. To have a friend make a judgement, even a helpful comment hurt me somehow. I will trust God alone to be my healer as He's the one who made me in the first place. I will curb my tongue with the horde of advice givers and let my true friends' comments slide. They are basing their advice on the normal person, not on a DDD patient. * deep breath* There, musing over.