Mulligan?

This has been a bad week for me. I'm not going to go into every little detail (cuz frankly my depression/anxiety made even simple things bad), but I'll highlight the two major things that happened to make the week a bad one. This journal will be long, so I apologize now to any who don't want to read. Also, I haven't been keeping up on here with everyone's journals, but I'm going to go through when I'm done and read them.So, everything started on Saturday (June 1st), which I talked about in my journal on Friday (May 31st). I had a great time with my friends in the morning, though the fair sucked ass (there were only 2 rides that were for adults [though we could go on any that weren't specifically for little kids] and the game people were so rude they almost cause my friend K to have a panic attack [she has social anxiety, though is fine in public when she's with friends or family she trusts, just not when people are harrasing her like crazy]). We played one game, where you shoot a water gun at a target to see who wins. I won all three times, and managed to get an adorable elephant stuffie which I gave to K, because she paid for me to play and really, she deserved the stuffie after putting up with the hecklers from the other games. She really wanted a dragon stuffie, but we didn't have money to keep playing. We also made plans to go to the fall fair, which tends to be a LOT better.We called it quits around 2pm, becuase we'd been out in the sun all morning and it was HOT and humid. I was on the verge of heat exhaustion as well, so we stopped to grab some drinks and then headed for the bus to go home. I had planned on skipping the 2 year olds party, but ended up walking by JUST as they were starting to get everything outside ready. I got roped into going to the party anyway. Everything would have been fine if the ONE pregnant woman didn't choose ME to latch on to the whole time. As we were trying to eat, she went on and on about her pregnancy, her problems and her baby's father. She kept joking that she hoped she didn't 'pop' while at the party, because she was 38 weeks, etc.When she asked me about if I have any plans to have a baby, I flat out told her than I suffer from infertility and am going through treatment. I left no detail out, and hoped she'd get the hint that I didn't care to know about her pregnancy or anything like that. At this point the baby-daddy was sat next to me and apprarently didn't understand what infertility is (he apparently has a learning disability). So... not only was I stuck with the prego bitch and her dumb ass baby-daddy... I was stuck with the ONLY white trash people at the party. One of my neighbors who was there (a fairly nice lesbian woman, who lives directly above the couple who were having the party) caught on to my increasing anxiety, so she planted herself next to me and wouldn't let the other woman talk to me any more. After a while we both left and spent the next 3 hours sitting in my living room talking about depression and anxiety (she has both for different reasons). Her girlfriend joined us after a while and by the time I went to bed I wasn't as anxious and upset as I had been.The next BIG frustration came on Wednesday (the 5th). I had to run around a bit, as I have to get immunizations for school (TB test and Hep B vaccine), so I felt rushed to begin with. I ended up late for my TB test reading because I missed the bus (literally I came out of my building just as it pulled away from the stop in front of the building). So, I was mildly frustrated with that. Though the nurse was great and very friendly, she explained a lot of things to me that I didn't know about the vaccines and gave me a pertussis/diptheria/tetanus update just to play it safe. I have my original immunization card from the year I was born (good ol' 1983!), which apparently was an amazing thing that all the nurses had to talk about after I'd left from getting the TB test on Monday, so she commended me for that, and was nice enough to tape the two peices back together for me.I caught the bus home, had lunch and then rushed out the door to go to my CBT group. Just as I walked out the door of my building, I got a text. Thinking it was my best friend, I chuckled about his timing as I pulled my arcaic cell phone out of my pocket and flipped it open. It was a text from my mum. I had plenty of time to catch the bus, so I stopped and quickly read it. That killed my entire day... I should have waited to read it til later. The text said my Dad had found a new tumor that morning, in his jaw, just under the joint. Then another text came in that said he was so upset that he started to drive home from the Dr's office instead of to the hospital for his radiation appointment. I wanted to just turn around and go back to my apartment and crawl into bed to bawl my eyes out.I managed to push through the wave of depression, but spent the entire bus ride in anxiety riddled hell. I got to group and found that the girl who'd left group last week saying it wasn't for her was back! She gave me a bright, cheery grin and waved at me. That stopped my negative thought track for a moment. Then we headed down the hall (after I'd checked in) to where our group meets and found the other girl I've mentioned, W, on the floor in tears. L (the girl who'd left last week) immediately swooped down and gave her a big hug and tried to talk her down from the panic attack. I was stopped dead in my tracks, having been on the edge of my own anxiety attack, my brain shut down instead of jumping into action. Luckily our group leader came by and opened the door to let us into the room, so we wouldn't be in the hallway where everyone walking by could gawk at us.L and I sat in chairs on either side of W and just let her explain everything. By the time group started, W was starting to calm down. We did everything we needed to do and then went back to W, to help her come down from her crisis mode she was in. In the end the problem was that she had moved and didn't have a land line and she was out of cell phone reception. Part of her support system is her Dad and talking to him whenever she feels anxious. She couldn't do this without a long drive just to find the right spot to get reception. In the end, I got DH to bring a webcam with built in mic to the group so W could use it (since she has internet) to Skype with her Dad while she waited to get a land line.Good things did happen this week, but for some reason the bad completely out weighed it all. I'm in a better mood today though. DH and I went through the preapproval process to get a 3 bedroom town house, and yesterday we went to view one of the two locations we're interested in. We've decided that those units are what we want and now we're working on making the necessary arrangements to move for the middle of August. I even called (I HATE calling people I don't know and my anxiety usually gets the better of me) and found out the average utilities costs for the units. So yay! Unfortunately with my anxiety having been triggered so much I'm stuck in the 'What if' scenarios and am totally stressing about the amount of money we'll have to pay out each month compared to what we bring in, etc. DH doesn't want me getting a job until I get my depression/anxiety under control. But between moving and starting school, all my anxious mind can focus on is the money we're about to spend. $3,550 for tuition, $2,600 for first and last months rent, and then there's the moving expenses, getting utilities in our name and started, books/materials for school and increasing our rental insurance coverage. Oy! Luckily we have nearly $4,000 saved already, which will go to my tuition. We should be able to save the rest of the money necessary to move before we actually move.