Muddy Times

It’s been quite some time since I’ve been on here.  I certainly need to get back to writing here because I can’t keep it all bottled up.  It’s been a really hard year.  I ended up moving back home because things with my mom started getting a little better.  It no longer felt like my home though.  My parents had moved my sister into my old room so I got shoved in a little office room which was fine because I had somewhere to sleep.  I had to put everything in storage because there was no room for it so that sucked.  They did allow me to take my cats with me which was good!  What started off as decent quickly turned to fights, yelling, guilt trips, and many tears.  I went to work and spent a lot of time with my boyfriend so I really only slept at my parents.  I had told my mom that my boyfriend and I had broken up which we did for a short time.  The stress of her and having no family got to me I think and I felt I needed them so I broke up with him.  It didn’t last more than a couple weeks because I couldn’t stand not being with him or the thought of him being with someone else.  I realized that I needed to stand up for myself and follow my heart.  I had always lived my life how she wanted but it was time I live my own!  Things got very rocky at my parents’ house so I started looking for an apartment.  I was spending nights at my boyfriend’s house because I couldn’t even be near my mom.  It was like living two lives.  When I was at my parents I was super depressed and felt like I was in a dungeon but when I was with my boyfriend I was so happy and felt like I could tackle the world!  It was frustrating that I couldn’t merge both together.  My mom hated the idea of it whenever I brought it up.  I rarely talked about my boyfriend because I figured it wasn’t even worth bringing up to her.  It wasn’t until August 18th, 2015 that I actually had to talk to her about us and that was to share some huge news…