Mr Depression is knocking
Mr Depression is again knocking at my door. I can feel when I getting ready to descend into that darkness again. No sooner than my eyes oopen in the morning, my mind is already going to dark places, feeling regrets and loneliness. I look around and see my life for what it is. Mr. Depression is evil and seems to stop at nothing. I guess I will start taking my meds again. The doctor told me yesterday i must stay on them for 6 weeks to feel the benefit. I guess it is better to not feel at all then to feel what Im feeling right now. One more week and Im going in my little staycation. That is something to look forward to. The latest reending with my friend sent me into another tailspin. Retreat Retreat!
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Ah-h-h-h. . . Mister Depression. In the 70's I tried to acronymate Mister Depression to MD and even the most battle hardened of the doctors at the base infirmary got politically correct on me and this was long before Political Correctness grew its civilian uniforms.
I'm checking my driveway for emergency response teams as I type, but I have come to think of Mister Depression as a friend who cuddles me while I untangle my psycho snot knots. He nudges me, gently, when I allow myself to move to gentle nudges, toward artful potentials for the broken pieces of my life. We are working on a mosaic this week.
Oopsie. . . I think I see flashing lights headed my way. Retreat Retreat! ! ! Gonna hide behind my attack chickens. Got 12 more young hens yesterday. That puts the flock at 16. En garde mon cappy ton.
It sounds like there is something inside in need of healing. It could be something from your distant past that was so traumatic, you buried it deep in your subconscious so you wouldn't have to feel the pain.. It could have been something so bad that it doesn't take much to have those feelings triggered all over again and not even understand why it affects you differently then it affects others....
I really hope you can find some peace.
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God Bless
Depression has become so constant in my life. I think alot of it stems from not living the life I truly want. Each time i go thru it, I lose time. Each time I go thru it I have a breakthru. I get more impatient everytime it visits me and I get angry because I want things to change but it takes time I know. I think what triggered it was my friend whom recently hurt me again. He put me down and those words stay woth me and I try and fight their influence on me. The thing is...if a man or anyone loves you they will never put you down. I deserve more than that. Its a demon in my life, family putting you down, ex husband putting you down...i guess I just get angry that i attract that stuff.