MPS, Asthma, Anxiety, Depression

These last few days have been so hard. One day I drove 2 hours to see a Doc my lawyer wanted me to see. By the time we got home I could hardly walk or raise my arms. One day I got groceries, and then I screwed up by using my credit card instead of the food card, SO STUPID! Thank you SIL for helping with that mess up, (thank God T went with me), that left me struggeling with pain.  Another day was my day to take care of Baby B. that's just plain exhausting.  Then yesterday I woke up with spasms running up and down my spine. Pulling my body into a Capital C almost.  The spasms spread into my arms, and legs. Causing my left hip to go out of joint. So I dragged my leg around with me all day. At one point the spasms were so bad I started to have a asthma attack, which then led to an anxiety attack. I was so afraid that I wasn't going to be able to get it all under control. My breathing tricks weren't helping, I was losing it. I hid in the bedroom, used heating pad and bio-feedback until I could come out of it. Then took a short shower, couldn't stay in long as I wanted because of asthma. But when I came back out of the bed room, no-one even noticed I was hurting. Everyone else is so concerned with their own "problems" they don't notice mine.
I am so tired of Big B and B's bitching and moaning. Not a kind word, ever.... Big B has reasons but geeze give me a break. He now has arthritis in his thumb. Painful I know! I have arthritis in both hips and have had it for years. But the way he complained I was ready to just cut his damn thumb off and say there, is that better. But of course I didn't, I just said "welcome to my world".
I woke up in a panic thinking it was Monday and I have so much to get done this week. Can harldy walk today, right hip hurts because of the over compensating yesterday for my left hip.  My back is so stiff and sore I can barely take a deep breath. pain in left chest and in left arm pit. burning in left thigh.  I'm eating tylanol like it's candy.  I have to go to the store today to get baby juice, milk, diapers, and wipes. Why B can't go get these things for his baby you may ask,  because he  "don't like going to the store".  We'll make do he says! How the hell do you make do without diapers?!
Don't get me wrong, I really love the men in my house, but sometimes it's like taking care of 3  two year olds!  Now I feel guilty for complaining about Big B when I know how bad his pain can be. And he fell again, last week, Monday? or Tuesday? I can't remember, he thinks he may have another hernia, I think it may be a blockage, he hasn't had a BM since he fell. (he has a colostomy). Everything just feels like nothing is ever going to change, just misery, misery,, misery all the time.  But I have to be the upbeat person, the strong person, the one who pulls it together. I"m so tired of being the "Mom"!