moving on
today would have been my 4 year anniversary. i have dreaded this day for a while but as it arrived i don't feel as sad as i thought i would be. 6 months ago my ex returned from scotland to end our marriage. she had been planning it when she was over there with her family for the holidays. she waited till we had an argument to execute her plan of divorce. she blindsided me and wiped out all our checking. it was the most ultimate betrayal i had ever experience. everything i worked hard for the last several years were destroyed by her selfishness. i couldn't believe someone who i married and help sponsor to the US and taken care of for the past years could do such a thing without even trying everything possible such as counseling to save it.
for the first several months it was emotionally draining. i was physically depressed and ill yet i still had to go to work everyday while she did nothing but ask for more money through her lawyer. i grieved for the loss of my wife and my heart continue to cling to her. the worst part was when i found out she was seeing someone else. i shook uncontrollably with sadness.
slowly i looked to buddhism philosophy for salvation. i learned that life will always have suffering in it. i realized that to heal i had to accept that there is no longer a marriage and to let her go. slowly i have been progressing with this notion of letting go. i am also working on forgiving myself and her. i am not totally out of the woods yet but am in the right direction. i have found other travelers on this website who have helped me on my journey to my new happiness. i truly thank the kindness and support i have received here.
for the first several months it was emotionally draining. i was physically depressed and ill yet i still had to go to work everyday while she did nothing but ask for more money through her lawyer. i grieved for the loss of my wife and my heart continue to cling to her. the worst part was when i found out she was seeing someone else. i shook uncontrollably with sadness.
slowly i looked to buddhism philosophy for salvation. i learned that life will always have suffering in it. i realized that to heal i had to accept that there is no longer a marriage and to let her go. slowly i have been progressing with this notion of letting go. i am also working on forgiving myself and her. i am not totally out of the woods yet but am in the right direction. i have found other travelers on this website who have helped me on my journey to my new happiness. i truly thank the kindness and support i have received here.
Replies
I feel your pain and suffering as I am going through something very similar with my own recent break up of a 10 year relationship. You are on the right path in terms of acceptance of the loss and allowing yourself to simply feel the sadness and suffering. Once you do accept that life is difficult and will always have suffering, you can transcend it -- however, being human, you will still be feeling the heartache and sadness. But, the important thing is to not let it consume you -- you must also move on and know that life is still good and well worth living! I wish you peace, comfort and much happiness for your future. As one of my best girlfriends once told me, though, it\'s OK to have a pajama day every once in awhile, though. :)