Moving forward
I've been thinking alot lately about all of the pebbles in my path over the years each leaving behind more lessons learned. I do believe everything happens for a reason including our paths crossing.While my journey continues, I wonder why I have fallen back and withdrew from people.
I think part of it is because I am embarassed. I have put on more weight, haven't been doing exercises like I should so not able to do alot without gimping with a cane. The worse thing is that I don't want to admit I'm just a decrepit,lonely soul destined to spend her remaining time all alone with nothing but a bear to cling to and sob away the tears. I've had an old friend of late hubby's try to connect, but I worry he is too much like Dave and am not sure I could handle more of what my marriage became.
I still do have hope and many days where I try to pick myself up and do what I need to improve and find some more satisfaction and happiness while I am still alive and kicking.... after all, isn't that part of the reason WE ARE ALL STILL HERE? because there is still much more ahead of us?
So I try to eat healthy and avoid emotional eating..... and to do at least my pt exercises and eventually get back on the damn bike and use some equipment at the small gym here... and I am meeting up with an old friend from HS and trying to keep in touch with a few others who have reached out in the past. As soon as I trip up, I am back to the decrepit lonely soul.
Does anybody else go back and forth like this with the self doubt and sabotage or is it just me? And why?
Replies
Kim
I understand some of this but not all of it. You could try wegoby to lose pounds
60+ came off me with ozempic. Not sure where I am now weight wise but I have big gut syndrome I guess left over fatty liver stuff. But thinking of working out isn’t my choice either. I dislike exercise.
Do not lie to yourself about exercise. It either is enjoyed or disliked.
Hugs my friend. I do and right now I am in the same spot. Be gentle with yourself, my friend. I banged up my knees and have to use a walker to get around. I do things when I am capable, end of story. As for having another in your life. You will know when the time is right. I am still taking me time. hehehe. I am scared to fall back to who I was before. Gentle hugs and smile.
If you can find a local EHA group, I really believe it will help you enormously! EHA stands for Emotional Health Anonymous. I highly recommend. It's the 12 steps anxiety, depression, and everything else that affects our minds, like emotional eating. I have the book and if you like I will send it for free if you pm me your address. If not, it's ok I totally understand. It helped me with my drinking and drugging problems because it helped to heal the underlying issues that were triggering it. It would help with your emotional eating.
So there is help, but keep the faith and keep your support system. Journal every day if you have the time. It will help motivate you when you go back to read your journals to see your progress.....hugs
I have to admit, when I do these things I do feel so much better. but I let myself slide so much. I have never heard of wegoby or EHA. And Mary, you hit the nail on the head. I do not want to fall back into who I was before... someone who cares deeply for others but so little for myself.
Your first sentence sums it up for me. It seems like so much has changed over the last year that I feel those pepples are speaking to me. Hoping all good things for you. Have a great Sunday!
I’m an emotional eater too and have put in some extra pounds recently. It does nothing for self-esteem and my cholesterol is high so it adds to more health worries. I can relate to all you say