Moving ahead
Well, I'm taking some new steps since the new year. I've set goals to continue to work on running in a 5 K in February, learning Mandarin, and getting a volunteer job. I'm really not sure of what kind of volunteer job I want. The Literacy Center here need volunteers tutors, but I did a year there in the past and after 37+ years in education I feel I'm ready to try something else. So I called and left and inquiry with our United Senior Services office. No one was in, but if they don't call back in a couple days I am going to take that as a sign and ask about volunteering at the State Park near here. I want to be partially with people since I am now alone a lot. I don't want to sit by myself as the state historical society site would want me to. It probably would be good if I could visit shut in older people who are lonely since that may be me some day. I am still teaching in elementary private school 2 days per week. I think I am going to try to keep this job next year if my tax man says I can afford to work part time. I am tired and don't really want to go back to the 50 or 60 hours per week a high school job would require.
When it is Spring I hope to be gardening and keeping bees. I don't want to get real busy, but a bit more to do would be good now.
I am so grateful to have my house, my animals and friends and family. This grieif is still almost more than I can bear at times but there are some good times too. I am trying to stay busy and useful while still leaving time for study, reflection and relaxation. It is hard being in the house a lot in wet or icy cold weather. I like being able to get out. I have the feeling that J and I will get through this. We got through a lot of other crap during our marriage and I am beginning to feel confident we can get through this. In a way, I wish I knew how long, but I guess that's not part of the deal. But on the bright side, like a lot of other widows, I've totally lost my fear of death. I'm not suicidal, but when the time comes - bring it on!
Well, I have a step daughter's birthday to plan, a Chinese lesson to study and exercises to do - I better get going!
I'm grateful for:
a beautiful sunrise
dogs and cats
families and friends
work
a car that runs
healthy
food to eat
telephone
email
Internet
My God and my honey
When it is Spring I hope to be gardening and keeping bees. I don't want to get real busy, but a bit more to do would be good now.
I am so grateful to have my house, my animals and friends and family. This grieif is still almost more than I can bear at times but there are some good times too. I am trying to stay busy and useful while still leaving time for study, reflection and relaxation. It is hard being in the house a lot in wet or icy cold weather. I like being able to get out. I have the feeling that J and I will get through this. We got through a lot of other crap during our marriage and I am beginning to feel confident we can get through this. In a way, I wish I knew how long, but I guess that's not part of the deal. But on the bright side, like a lot of other widows, I've totally lost my fear of death. I'm not suicidal, but when the time comes - bring it on!
Well, I have a step daughter's birthday to plan, a Chinese lesson to study and exercises to do - I better get going!
I'm grateful for:
a beautiful sunrise
dogs and cats
families and friends
work
a car that runs
healthy
food to eat
telephone
Internet
My God and my honey
Replies
Wow - learning Mandarin - I am impressed! Also - bee keeping! Interesting! You go girl! :)
Nice to read how far you have come my friend. I think back to the days we couldn`t even figure out how to take our next breath and we definately have made progress since those early months. I am so glad you are having some good times amongst the grief. May we both have many more good times and less pain in our future and find a way to fill those empty days, Hugs Lu Ann
Edith, sounds like you are keeping busy most of the time. That is a good thing. Glad you sound better than the last time I read one of your journal entries.
Hope you have a Blessed New Year!
Hugs,Joely
Edith, glad to read this journal and to see how far you have come. I enjoyed poem. Wishing us all peace and comfort. Hugs, Anne
Thanks to you all. You don\'t know how much you mean to me!
You do so many interesting things -- that\'s great! More power to you in learning Mandarin, your volunteer position, and a grateful attitude!
Hugs - Doye
It is so hard at times to motivate ourselves----you have wonderful plans!
Big hugs, Sal
\'Enjoyed reading your journal. I was a student life counselor and retired to the Coast with my husband, then he passed away! I was badly spoiled as a wife, still not used to going it alone. Right now I am battling moles out in the yard! That was my husband\'s job. ~~Sigh~~ Patty