Move over Brady Bunch!! LOL

So I told Michael (my friend/wanna be boyfriend)  I didn't want to see him anymore earlier this week because I felt like we were using each other. He is still trying to act like I just had a bad day and will want to see him. He suggested we get togther tonight. I said no Thank you.  I'm sure over time he will get the message. I took another chance last night and agreed to go out with Jerry the 38 year old single father of two young boys, 9 years my junior. We have been talking on the phone daily for over a month and I had become very impressed with his morals, values and the maturity and love he shows for his children.  I believe he is honestly looking for something real, as well as a Mom for his boys. He has had the kids, now 7 & 8 since his youngest was 9 months old! He coaches their baseball and basketball teams. I have put off going out with him for two reasons; 1. because of my own insecurity (he is cute and young and I thought he could do much better in the looks department, he could get a young hard body!), 2. I wasn't sure if I (with my kids in highschool and college) would want to consider taking on two young boys.  I would never want to persue something and become part of his or his childrens' lives without knowing I would consider it.  After much thought and prayers I decided I could love additional children.  All children deserve love and I have plenty to give.  Jerry is a very sweet guy and made me feel like he was looking for inner beauty and an honest woman, not a playboy bunny, so we went out last night.  OMG I am smitten!! I have learned not to expect anything and not to force anything but.... this man is one of a kind (if he is who he portrays himself to be).  We had a wonderful time. He seemed very smitten with me too. I know only time will tell where it will go with us.  He talked like he plans on being in my life as long as I will allow him to be.  I asked him to be patient with me and my trust issues. He says he understands and doubts things that appear to be too good to be true as well.  He is just that.  This is the first man that has made me think, "Tony Who". Honestly if he is the man I believe him to be and falls in love with me, I could see me falling hard for him and never looking back. He pointed out several times that he was a package deal, I said me too!! He actually asked me if I thought I could love his boys. I said I don't even know if I could love you yet, but if God has it planned for us to be together, I would love them as my own.  Now the dreaming begins.  That is just how I am. I have smiled all day just thinking about what could be! Ok, I know I am getting way ahead of myself. He could be full of shit and never go out with me again. I hope not but I know that could happen and I have been reminding myself of that as well.  But...if we don't have hopes or dreams they will never be fulfilled, right?  Since Tony, I have had no desire to care for a man, to cook for them or meet their needs in any way. I thought my heart had turned off and I would never feel that way again.  The man has me thinking he is worthy of my efforts and I feel excited again. Even if WE don't work out he has shown me that I am not dead or cold inside. I am just picky and will wait for a man I feel worthy of my efforts.  I hope, I hope that he is who he says he is. He told me all about his past. He was no angel but the kids changed him into a man. He told me things like he had been arrested twice (in his 20s) once for DUI and once for fighting. I said so. You are almost 40 and you know better, right.  He said yes but he wanted me to know everything about him and that he is not perfect.  He admitted he doesn't have much. He doesn't own a home but he has a good car and a good job (an electrician). He says he works all of the overtime they offer to provide for his boys. He may not have much but his kids have motocross bikes, playstaytions, etc... I know where his money goes and I am impressed.  He is mature beyonds his years and very loving and giving. When he talks about his boys you can see and hear the love and pride he has for them.  I fell in love with that part of him on the spot!  He is the kind of man I would want in my childrens' lives as well.   God works in mysterious ways. I had planned to sell my house last year when my son graduated, it would be too big for just me and my daughter. The market crashed and I got stuck staying and paying.  My house has 5 bedrooms. If Jerry and I were to get together we would have 4 kids between us. One kid for each bedroom and on for us. I couldn't help but think if just maybe God planned for me to meet a man with kids to share my life and my home.  You just never know.   I am not getting my hopes up.  Chances are it will crash and burn or I will find him to not be who he says he is or he will not be as smitten with me as he pretended to be but....he did call me this morning.  He called me precious and asked if I would like to get together tomorrow.  He said he was tired today and had to coach basketball after he got off so he would be too tired to get together tonight.  He texted me tonight and said he would call later after he got the kids down.  I can't wait to see him again but I will remember to take it one day at a time and one step at a time. I still expect the worst as that is usally what I end up with but it would be soooo nice if I got to win this time! Brenda and Jerry sitting in a tree, k i s s i n g LOL  He makes me smile like a schoolgirl and remember what it is like to be smitten so if I get nothing else, it was worth the effort!  Cross your finger for me and pray it happens the way it is suposed to, whatever that is!