Mountains into Molehills

Not quite sure where my life is taking me right now. I feel like I am a trespasser. Stepping ever so gently not to disturb the environment or make myself notice to others. Quietly I stroll without a purpose. Observing the scenery, I walk with an unsure foot. I gaze upon mountains of possibilities, goals, dreams, and hopes: so high and glorious. My thoughts refrain from thinking about traveling that direction. I am tired and do not want to climb them. I don’t have enough resources, survival supplies, or energy left to pursue the journey. I question if there is anything better for me on the other side. The unknown is what frightens me; exerting so much energy, just to find out that I have made the journey out of vain. I am content to stay in the mundane and dreary, meadows as an unwelcome guest. I will be quiet and make no noise. I promise that I will not speak out. I will not cry, nor will I complain. Just let me stay here in the shadows. I will hide and camouflage myself from life and its everyday routine. No one will know that I exist. Shhh, the tranquility will soothe my soul. No more thinking, no more trying, just wasting time.
Even though I say I want this kind of peace, I know that this peace will stir up emotions of anxiety within. My soul is not meant to be quieted. It shrills and is at times flamboyant. To tame this beast would be unfair, for it makes me who I am. It drives me to become a better person. Ok, maybe not better but someone who is alive and walking with the living.
I believe that I am over thinking things again. Let’s just sit awhile and wait for a new day. Wait for the rising sun to appear and bring a fresh new light to the landscape. New hopes, new dreams, ones that maybe possible and attainable, that will give me energy to move forward, to possibly wanting to venture out to those high and mighty mountains.