Mothers

This came up on Facebook - one of the private groups I have joined who have lost their only child - I thought it was worth repeating here - it is for all moms!

To the Mother Who feels the same grief as me.

Most of you I have never met, but yet we visit the same place every day. We all walk down the same unguided dark path. We cling to memories as if it's our life support.

You're the one person who knows the way my stomach feels - the unhealed knot in the center of my gut. You know the hollowness in my heart. Your tears are the same shape as mine, and they roll off the cheek without warning. Only you understand the box in the closet where we keep the little things - the items that most people wouldn't find a connection to. But we do. Maybe it's a ribbon, a stone or piece of paper someone had written your child's name on. An article of clothing that was last worn as we try desperately to preserve their smell. You are the only one in this world who can look me in the eyes and say "I get it". Dear friend, how I wish you didn't get it.

Like clockwork, I lie awake in my bed every night. I know you're probably doing the same. As lonely as I feel sometimes, I know you're feeling lonely, too. As indescribable as my pain is, I know you understand. It's like a silent language that neither one of us wants to speak.

Our children's stories are most likely different. The paths that led us here are probably nothing alike. It's what happened in the after that forever bonds us now. It's the pain of burying our child that makes our scars the same and our paths cross.

I wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone, but yet to know you exist is somewhat of a selfish comfort for me. It's the only place I find acceptance. I know with you that my tears aren't measured and my sadness is never judged. The length of time I grief will never be rushed, all the wrong things will never be said and you understand sometimes silence is enough.

My sadness will never make you uncomfortable because our words fit together like a puzzle. Even though I'm a stranger to some, my heartache brings you to tears. You live with that forever emptiness, too. I hope you find some comfort in knowing you are not alone and that there's someone out there just like you.

From a grieving mother.

** Love you sisters - Vicki, always Jennifer's mom.