Mother's Day
Could have gone better if I hadn't had so much work to do. Mom is not doing very well and can't help anymore with chores.
I did manage to make the breakfast she wanted, which was French toast, and it was good. And my brother had to work so he didn't come over, which was peaceful.
I spent entire day doing chores even tho I have a housekeeping app that reminds me to do chores before work and stuff. I feel like I didn't get to spend much time with mom, but I'm sure she appreciates the floors getting swept and mopped. I washed bedding and some other laundry. And I cooked all day. Dinner wasn't awesome, but the night before I made BBQ ribs for her and that meal was great.
My fiance still lives here. He did one load of dishes and vacuumed. When I asked what was wrong, he said he was too depressed to do anything else. Why was he depressed? His mom. I asked him if he had talked to her for mother's day, and to please not feel like he couldn't call her. He could go in the bedroom and we wouldn't bother him. Also his mom lives out west, so at the time it would have still been early morning for her. He said he didn't want to call his mom or talk to her. I suggested he call one of his grandma's instead and he just looked at me like I'm stupid. He said look I just don't feel good and I'm always depressed on mother's day. I was like well me too, since I'm not a mother. I just put it out of my mind and occupy myself with something. Im not good at dealing with depressed people because they get so irrational. He was most likely depressed because he isn't allowed to have weed or alcohol in the house. We are at zero tolerance now.
My mom isn't doing very well health wise. She is depressed all the time and complaining and negative. Today she is supposed to make some phone calls to get help feeling better. She needs to see a foot doctor and do physical therapy. She needs pain cream that actually works. But getting her to do anything is like pulling teeth. She just has no mental fortitude. She gives up on everything. That's why she didn't want to go out for mother's day.
At least she seemed to enjoy all the flowers I planted and the work outside I've been doing. I got all the window boxes and hanging baskets done Saturday, so we have many pretty plants on the porch.
Replies
I remember when I first quit drinking, my mental disposition was pretty bad.....In the beginning is when it's the absolute worse because the brain does everything it can possibly do, to get you to keep feeding it alcohol. ....horrible feelings of loss and isolation and it didn't matter how many people were around me or what they said to help me. It was definitely a chemical imbalance in my brain because I had alot of support back then but it was not helping.
I decided to visit my doctor who diagnosed me with depression and she prescribed Pristiq which was one of the newer antidepressant medications at the time and it worked very well helping me get through those early days giving my brain a chance to adjust. I no longer take them but they definitely helped me when I needed them the most.
Maybe your fiance would benefit from being on those if only for a little while. It's just so hard getting past those first few months because the brain takes so long to heal. It can take up to a year to heal completely but I was feeling very good after about 8 months.
God Bless
Thanks for giving me a timeframe. He went to a psychiatrist last year and she tried a few different meds for him but they were for anxiety not depression. Also they made him really really crazy and explosive. Like I was afraid of him and had to ask a friend to stay with my mom while I was at work because I was afraid he would hurt her. I kicked him out. He stopped taking the meds and got back on weed and came by the house and mom let him in. Her feeling sorry for him is why he lives with us. I told him he couldn't live with me when he got out of the hospital, but she told him he could.
I think you did very well with your mother. Had a great day.
Do you want to have children? You probably have quite a while to make that decision.
Remember there is no evidence that having kids makes you happier. We just have an innate urge to procreate. It's not necessarily a rational urge. There are 7 billiion people on the planet. There was only 2 billion in 1940.
Regarding your financee Do you love him? Does he have good traits ?
I would put a time frame and condition on him improving . He has to be drug free and seeing a counselor. I'm sorry to be direct. I just don't recall you ever saying anything positive about him. I say this as a concerned friend