Mother. Part 2

Hi everyone               to the 6 of you who continually read these it's already time for part 2. I had to take a little time off after part one to regroup, and recompose myself. As you see these are a way of healing, and to heal an infected wound you must first re-open and clean the wound. Ask any nurse.  Anyway... for part 2. Around the time of 11 years old my life was in such disarray that I became more isolated from everyone. I was beginning puberty, and beginning to understand what was happening to me. I started growing breasts and bleeding where I had never before. And I had to ask my father how to take care of them. (Absolutely embarrassing) Bras were more interesting. I hated baring any part of my body to anyone by then. Much less to be fitted for bras. I dont think I was ever an A cupped woman, so of course I had more than some girls to bare. Which, I hated doing.    My brother's friends then joined in on the abuse. At first it was just the neighbors' boyfriend. Then it became him, and my brothers friends... Eddie, Mike, and Raymond. There was left no escape from the pain, from the abuse. I began nasty habits then. To try to make myself undesirable.  I would cut my arms, my face, all over my body. Trying to get them to hate the sight of me. It didn't work. I hated them. I began planning my runaway. I packed what little I had and tried to run off. But each time, I was sent back, I was always found. I began to give up hope.    Finally the news came that we were going to move away from that neighborhood, away from all the evil people in it. I was so excited.  I packed up what few clothes I had, I packed my dusty Barbie dolls, and left the rest behind. The dusty dolls, the forgotten childhood, the nightmareish life. We moved into the new place, and I began to unpack what little I had. My mother picked then to have her break down. She drank, and smoked herself into a breakdown. With noone but my brother and I here. She wound up having a stroke, and liver failure. Joy.   Of course, 2 weeks after she left the hospital she jumped off of a wall trying to kill herself.. right in front of me. Talk about mixed feelings! After all the evil that woman showed me, versus her being the only mother I ever knew... so torn. Anyway... thats it for part 2.