Morning decompression

Had a good nights sleep, finally getting back on track and getting the proper amount of rest. I am letting myself wake up on my own without an alarm clock. I really hate being shocked awake, but I know that is just part of life. Had some old dreams reoccur last night for some reason. Old dream / new dream. Meaning it was a place I had been before but a new scenario. A place filled with dangers, temptations, people I don't really like and a place where I didn't really like myself. But a place where I felt powerful and strong at the same time as I was weak and controlled and manipulated. The people there involved family that I really don't care for anymore because they changed to a path I view as wrong with their lives. Though I respect their decisions to choose that path and I do still love them, being filled with hate and aggression everyday for no reason is not something I want to be a part of my life. I want to be free from those feelings and the stupid ways they make a person act. Though what those people say has a modicum of truth to it sometimes, I rather just let go of those feelings and find the good in people, or avoid those on what one would consider the other side, that are filled with the same hate and anger. Another item that just popped into my head from my dreams last night was the fact that when one is noble they are walked on later by those that state to care for them. Being honorable and kind lets those who say they love you know you will be a push over when they choose to crush you. The thing is though you love them you should be strong and stern in your own convictions. Do not attach yourself to people that are flakey and waiver in their own choices, because they will turn on you. Choose carefully those you bring into your life and be strong against those that you know are trying to use you. Don't let them use you, don't give of yourself to those people that are just psychic vampires sucking away the happiness. When those people leave your life, let them go and don't let them back in. Keep those that just want to use you at arms length because your first impression is normally the right one. Yes people can change but the core of who they are will remain. Find those that value you and would go to the wall for you, as you would for them. Don't be the knight in shinning armor for everyone else, don't try to fix everyone elses' problems. If you fix everyone elses' problems then you are stuck doing for the rest of your life. People will always want you to do it for them, whne they should have learned to do it for themselves. You know you are strong and can beat any challenge presented to you. Focus on your challenges and not the stupid situations other people refuse to handle on their own. Giving advice and gentle helping hand is one thing and that is a good thing, but taking everything wrong in the world and thrusting it onto your shoulders is detrimental to your own well being. Balance what you give of yourself to those you love and what love you receive or give to yourself.  Today I know there is a lot of things I want to do, but I plan to make time for myself. Being kind to myself is not selfishness but part of healing and maintaining a good strong individual person that I am. I will take time to make myself better, to gather my own strength and peace. I am doing that right now by spending a few minutes this morning and decompressing all my thoughts out into the world where everyone can read them and I know I need not hide my feelings. I know I should never hide how I feel, letting the world know can be scarey, but you are feeling the way you do for a reason and that reason must be expressed otherwise it compounds and folds back in you one's self and can be counterproductive to everything one is trying to accomplish in life. May peace fin us all during today, even if it is for a brief fleeting moment let that peace find us and let us revel in it.