Morning at the doc

Well lots of things were discussed.  My husband actually went with me.  He is in such denial.  The two things that stand out right now are that I am eligible for disability and that if I continue to have Fev1s in the 20s, we will look at having a lung transplant. My last one was 29%. He says that transplants last about 5 years.  I didn't expect to hear that yet as an option.  As for the disability part.  My husband would like us to continue to have a home.  We are already in debt quite a bit.  He can't even fathom me not working.  I am doing a ok job with work.  I have nothing left over for family.  I just want to go to bed.  So not sure what to do.  Will I stay saner if I work or do I spend more time with family while I have as much "health" as i do?  I have some family land that I will inherit.  My sister thinks I should move home.  She will be crucial in helping me when I need it.  It's only a half an hour a way.  Maybe I should sell the land?  Really hitting hard.  How long will I be around?  What will I get to share with my kids?   Weddings graduations grandkids.  Yuck! Hate feeling like this!  I got to get affairs in order and make those grown up decisions.  Brought home info on living wills today.  Damn it I am only 45!!!  I have a five year old.