Morning 12/27/2013
Last night before be that f-ing chronic pain felt like a hot knife. I took 2 pain meds and was in bed at 7pm. It was still there this morning but less. I haven't taken any pain meds yet today. I'm so tired of this BS but whatever.
I'm going to do a light workout then take a shower. This BS is going to hurt whether I sit on my ass all day or get up and do something. The pain isn't the worst part to be honest its the way it screws with my mind. It flairs up and I go into automatic depression.
I want the pain to go away but at this point my prayer to God would be to allow me to tolerate the pain without having it throw me into a pit of despair.
I want to look forward to each day...pain or no pain. Of course having no pain would be better but if I can learn to love life despite the pain how much more would I appreciate life if/when the pain ever ends?
I think that is what this is all about. Learning to live life despite the pain and suffering. Even if this pain ends what's to say another one won't begin? And then what? Do I fall into a pit of depresion every time pain or suffering rears its ugly head?
If that's the case I'll never get better. So here is my new prayer: God send me all the pain and suffering that you must BUT give me the strength to tolerate the worst of it all. I can never understand why but I pray in the end I will see how this awful period of my life has made me a stronger better person.
I'm going to do a light workout then take a shower. This BS is going to hurt whether I sit on my ass all day or get up and do something. The pain isn't the worst part to be honest its the way it screws with my mind. It flairs up and I go into automatic depression.
I want the pain to go away but at this point my prayer to God would be to allow me to tolerate the pain without having it throw me into a pit of despair.
I want to look forward to each day...pain or no pain. Of course having no pain would be better but if I can learn to love life despite the pain how much more would I appreciate life if/when the pain ever ends?
I think that is what this is all about. Learning to live life despite the pain and suffering. Even if this pain ends what's to say another one won't begin? And then what? Do I fall into a pit of depresion every time pain or suffering rears its ugly head?
If that's the case I'll never get better. So here is my new prayer: God send me all the pain and suffering that you must BUT give me the strength to tolerate the worst of it all. I can never understand why but I pray in the end I will see how this awful period of my life has made me a stronger better person.
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