More to come
Soo, I've put this off for a long time and the title hints that this journal isn't going to be complete. I'm really just going to write until I either run out of time or run out of things to say and it's time to start another journal (which I will write later).
At the moment, it seems like I only have good news! For those of you who have seen my most recent post in the depression discussion board, things have improved A LOT since then. For those of you who haven't, I've recently started dating this girl I met online. To be honest, considering I met her on Craig's List of all places I clearly got incredibly lucky but as you might imagine, like all women I've dated that I met online she's a little different. Our second "date" went very strangely, so much so that it had me doubting if I really should be getting involved with her but something didn't quite feel right about just giving up. We were drinking and smoking pot and she was just acting really weird and crazy. A few days later we had a nice, long, and very important conversation and we talked through a lot of what happened.
To be perfectly honest, I think the reason why things went so crazily that time really had a lot to do with nerves, the substances we're on and the fact that neither of us really have much experience with serious relationships. She kept flip-flopping between trying to seduce me and suddenly pushing me away. I've also realized that a lot of the strange things she kept saying were really about herself and not me and after talking for like 6 hours straight we both realized that we like each other a lot but we need to take things slower.
Of course, being the way I am with all the negative dating experiences I've had I was skeptical but I just came back from our third date and not only did it go very well, but I could tell by how comfortable she seemed around me and the loving smile she gave me when she dropped me off at home that this feels like I've finally found something good. Admittedly, we both have similar "demons" but we both have similar ways of dealing with our own issues. I feel like my life is finally changing for the better! We both need something like this, we were both just drifting around and although I know I'll occasionally have to put up with crazy nights like our second date, I can handle it. Knowing that it's clearly not purely a drug problem and seeing that, like me she's got a decent amount of control over her own substance use makes me feel optimistic.
I know it sounds crazy, I know this isn't usually how relationship usually start and I know that most people this early in the stages of a serious relationship usually don't discuss things like this but talking things out and getting each other on the same page like that was the right thing to do. She clearly really likes me and the feeling is mutual. I'm excited to see where this is going to go! Finally something that feels genuine! I've never been in a serious relationship and before this girl I've only met one other person I could see myself in a serious relationship with. Things feel like they're coming together.
At the moment, it seems like I only have good news! For those of you who have seen my most recent post in the depression discussion board, things have improved A LOT since then. For those of you who haven't, I've recently started dating this girl I met online. To be honest, considering I met her on Craig's List of all places I clearly got incredibly lucky but as you might imagine, like all women I've dated that I met online she's a little different. Our second "date" went very strangely, so much so that it had me doubting if I really should be getting involved with her but something didn't quite feel right about just giving up. We were drinking and smoking pot and she was just acting really weird and crazy. A few days later we had a nice, long, and very important conversation and we talked through a lot of what happened.
To be perfectly honest, I think the reason why things went so crazily that time really had a lot to do with nerves, the substances we're on and the fact that neither of us really have much experience with serious relationships. She kept flip-flopping between trying to seduce me and suddenly pushing me away. I've also realized that a lot of the strange things she kept saying were really about herself and not me and after talking for like 6 hours straight we both realized that we like each other a lot but we need to take things slower.
Of course, being the way I am with all the negative dating experiences I've had I was skeptical but I just came back from our third date and not only did it go very well, but I could tell by how comfortable she seemed around me and the loving smile she gave me when she dropped me off at home that this feels like I've finally found something good. Admittedly, we both have similar "demons" but we both have similar ways of dealing with our own issues. I feel like my life is finally changing for the better! We both need something like this, we were both just drifting around and although I know I'll occasionally have to put up with crazy nights like our second date, I can handle it. Knowing that it's clearly not purely a drug problem and seeing that, like me she's got a decent amount of control over her own substance use makes me feel optimistic.
I know it sounds crazy, I know this isn't usually how relationship usually start and I know that most people this early in the stages of a serious relationship usually don't discuss things like this but talking things out and getting each other on the same page like that was the right thing to do. She clearly really likes me and the feeling is mutual. I'm excited to see where this is going to go! Finally something that feels genuine! I've never been in a serious relationship and before this girl I've only met one other person I could see myself in a serious relationship with. Things feel like they're coming together.
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