More tests to see how sick I might be

Good morning journal,the time is 7:07am,and I have been awake for an hour.I have only had around five hours of disturbed sleep,and finally gave in and took our dogs into the back garden to do what dogs do when they need to.It is a very cold morning,and the sun is not yet up,instead a misty moon stares balefully from a pitch black sky,speckled with a myriad of stars,making me feel as if I am the last man remaining in a silent world where time is standing still.At least it gives me time to think,yesterday,I attended my diabetic clinic,the news was not good.My blood pressure is very low,92/66,which,I gather,is cause for concern;I have also lost another ten pounds in weight,making eighteen pounds in all on my last two visits.I now weigh fifty eight kilos,or nine stone two pounds in old money;the biggest concern is my blood sugar count however,it has gone from 6.5 to a worrying 14,I gather from my American wife that the system used for measuring blood sugar is different in the States,she compared it online and came up with a reading of 245 or thereabouts on the American scale.I now have to undergo some tests over the next six weeks,an eye screening test,which involves having drops in my eyes which dilate the pupils and allow examination of the vessels and such,so that they can check for damage.I've had it done before,it is painless until you emerge into full daylight,it hurts a bit then as the drops make your eyes ultra sensitive to light,so a pair of dark glasses is necessary.I also have to have more blood samples taken,and I have been referred for an ultra sound scan on my pancreas to see if it is enlarged,as that can cause a surge in my blood sugar levels;and also,as the nurse said,"just to check that there's nothing more sinister",comforting little soul that she is,and yes I'm smiling.Life is like waiting for a bus,you wait for ages and nothing happens,then three come along together;my wife is very concerned,but we can't change anything,it will be what it will be,I'll have the tests then we will form a plan of action,it is pointless to project or imagine the various outcomes or diagnosis till you see it in black and white,it may be something or nothing,only time will tell.Until then,I have a life to live,and I'm going to do that the best way I know how,by remaining upright and sucking air,and spitting right in the eye of whatever,if anything,might be ahead of us.This morning,I am in a very positive frame of mind,and I will face the day ahead with my usual stubborn attitude,I can only be disheartened if I allow myself to be,today,I will not allow myself thoughts of negativity or self pity,today I will be me,despite everything else that happens.Well journal,enough of me for now,my back is paining me somewhat,so I will retire to my comfy old armchair and watch the sun come up,till next time then,peace be with us.