more STRESSERS! %^$#(!@*^

did i mention that the past month was hellish?? well it had gotten worse over the past couple weeks.  good news is, Matthew isn't suicidal anymore. also we had our 1st couples counseling on the 19th (Oct). bad news is.... well it's a long list: the side effects of getting off cymbalta has been total HELL. my head has been pulsating, brain ZAPPING~~, eyes pulsating, vision quivering, body throbbing, head pain, light and sound pain, etc. of all and any med i ever had to get off of, this is by far THE WORST i've ever had it. this has been the worst physical and mind twisting torment EVER. i'm just now beginning to feel the withdrawals taper down just a wee bit. but there were days where i couldn't even sit up or even talk. that's how bad it had gotten.but it will continue to get better. Sonnie (my younger bro)....  where do i even begin?he has been showing traits of a mental illness that runs strong and hard on my dad's side of the family (my dad has it, grandpa had it, uncles have it, cousins have it) for some time now. -BUT-- recently, sonnie has become much worse. most of the worsening [i think] is contributed by his "new found church". they have been throwing so much fuel on the fire. and today, i just found out how bad it actually is and what nightmare lies ahead if we don't stop this NOW.a break down of the traits: 1>delusional thoughts that they are above the "physical laws" [physics] and try to prove all theories wrong. 2> thoughts that they are "chosen" by God to a higher calling above everyone else [ex: prophet of some kind]. 3> thoughts that they do NOT have to adhear to any standards. 4> tend to walk out on the family on some higher calling BS. Grandpa did this to us, my dad did it to us, some of my uncles have done it to their families.what i found out about the church: they have an "opostle" (sp?) from the philipines that has come here to the islands and brought teachings [has returned already]. what the teachings are: {basically} God provides everything if you prove to him you are worthy by "forsaking" money, "forsaking" food, and whatever else BABBLE they put in his head. Sonnie is planning to visit this opostle in the philipines THIS november TO LEARN TO BECOME LIKE HIM!!! he has no money to do it {but they have convinced him that God will give him money out of the sky}, he has had NO immunizations/shots, doesn't even have his passport ready, & the list goes on. NOT TO MENTION that there has been repeated typhoons hitting them! floods, disasters, deaths, and illnesses as a result from the flooding, and i DO NOT want him to get sick or bring an illness back here! they have convinced him that the end of the world is HERE NOW and he should take the oppertunity to fly to the Philipines before the world actually ends. forget that he has signed a 30 yr mortgage loan with me {last year} and forget eating or buying groceries, or whatever else any responsible humin being has do to. NOW i know why he was threatening to NOT buy groceries the other day (when it was his turn) and was threatening to NOT eat!!! it all makes sense now! OMG! these cultic people have lost their damn minds!!! they are fucking people's families over by teaching this shit!!! i don't need this after what grandpa and dad did to us so many times! GRRRRR i can't seem to get PEACE OF MIND AROUND HERE!!!!! it's one f#cked up problem after another!!!  Matthew and i are coming up with strageties to get sonnie admited to a hospital and treated for his "delusions", maybe put him on a med to help stablize him, at least do somehting to help him! maybe they can knock some common sense and REALITY back into him! we have talked to him about this matter before but this time he's just so far worse off. something has to be done before he completely alienates his self from the rest of the family like my dad did {who hasn't spoken to us in how many years, and haven't seen him in 13 yrs}.  this is just bad... sorry the news has been crazy lately... life has kind of been turned upsaide down here....thanks for being there. i need all the support and prayers i can get right now. you all rock!   

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Blue,
Sorry that you are going through all this. That cult does sound really messed up and if Sonny is unstable to begin with then it would be easier to convince him of these things. I don\'t know if its an option where you are but here you can have people committed by the court for 30-day evaluation if they are a danger to themselves or others. In the meantime, I wouldn\'t mention the issues that would interfere with his ability to take his trip so that hopefully it won\'t happen. Good luck with all this!!
deleted_user
deleted_user

Never apologize for having a bad time.... that is what we are here for! I think your brother needs some help. Soon. Life it seems is hitting us all like a brick in the face.... I wish it would stop. I truly hope you feel better soon..... I hate that the meds are doing this to you......I will pray that things get better... wishing you the most..... we are here. Love and hugs!!!
CajunTiger
CajunTiger

Wow, blue....so much for you to have to deal with....I\'m glad Matthew is better....hoping and praying that the counseling continues to help. Also praying for your brother....that group sounds scary. Please take care of you during all this too! Prayers and HUGS from down south :)
deleted_user
deleted_user

prayers and hugs for u... i hope that Michael stays better abd u guys get a solution for Sonnie.. gosh, cults are so difficult to deal with.. pls also take very good care of urself as the weaning off cymbalta can leave u emotionally vulnerable.. wil keep u in good thoughts and hope and pray for positive change....
deleted_user
deleted_user

OK, Jar Jar. Straight up. You have to let go and let God. Whatever you call God. You have to come first this time. Horrible as it is, your brother has to live his own life. One skin with one life inside. That is how this hummer works. We are in this together alone. Except for whatever our higher power is. Like it or not, you have an assignment. The assignment is to take care of Alicia. You have to put on your own oxygen mask before you rush off to try to put on other people\'s. Please learn to trust that you are not the only one involved in the rescues that need doing. I talked to some sages about this, and they said the universe will not be needing your help right now, and it thanks you for the offer. Now my offer is, as always, to tell you my truth as direct and straight as I can. That is more like my duty. My pleasure is to love doing it. You are a dinkum mate, and a strong presence in my life. It is your turn to be helped. Won\'t you try to let it in? And I am sending my own angel after Sonnie. No guaruntees. But He is on the way!
deleted_user
deleted_user

Bob is so right (he must be a 12 stepper!). I know you love your brother and I know he\'s putting you in a tough situation and that right now your life sucks. I also know that you know and love and trust God and he\'s the only one who can do everything that needs to be done for you. I used to keep a note by my bed that said \"Dear Carol, Thanks, but I don\'t need any help today. Love, God\". It reminded me how powerless I am, that I am a part of a whole and don\'t alway understand my part in it, and that I need to give it all to God. Even if I take it back, He\'s willing to let us keep giving it back to Him. It gets easier with time. In the meantime I\'ll be asking for strenght and peace for you. And know that we all love you.
Carol
PeaceN2You
PeaceN2You

You can always spot the 12-steppers LOL The program was the blessing hidden under the curse of my low-life alcoholic now-ex-husband :)

OK I can\'t even go there about the church - that is fucked up - see I wasn\'t even a Marine and I can curse like one! :) Anyway, the only thing I\'m going to say is that the minister who married me (the third time) had a sign on his desk that I\'ve never forgotten. It said \"Pray to God but row for shore!\" There is that other saying - \"God helps them who help themselves.\"

Even though I\'m not of that faith, I was raised Christian, and nobody ever bothered to tell me I could just sit on my ass and WAIT for God to take care of me. That kind of literal interpretation of the \"lilies of the field\" passages of the Bible is just wrong. The Universe, God, whatever you call your higher power, is not there as your Nanny - you have to get off your ass and take care of yourself, and hopefully when you do the right things for the right reasons, you\'ll get some support and help from God, the Universe, or whatever.

Sending healing energy and light in your direction - I hope you can get him admitted and treated.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I\'m so sorry i hope that things get better foryou .......
deleted_user
deleted_user

I am so sorry for what you are going through with your brother. I pray you can get your brother into treatment. God helps those who help themselves. Your brother isn\'t in a place where he can do that....and it\'s wonderful that he has you in his corner. I\'ve watched, and read, many things on cults. It amazes me how quickly they can brainwash people. They tend to pray on those who are having difficulties in their lives, whatever that might be. (For some reason what you wrote about the church is in symbols so I was unable to read it.

I am glad that Matt is doing better and that you 2 are going to counseling. I\'m sure that has to give you peace of mind.

I\'m here if you need me sweetie. Sending you lots of love, hugs and prayers!
Teresa
deleted_user
deleted_user

Hey, girl! I\'m sorry to hear about your brother. However, like AzGal45 wrote, I was unable to read what you wrote about the church because it was in symbols. I know you\'ll fill me in when you get a chance. Just know I\'m here for you and that I\'m sending you my prayers and my love! Things will get better! Love ya! xoxoxo