More Run Around

I went back to the hospital this morning. Obviously I have not been admitted. They are trying to get me in with a p-doc to have my meds adjusted. I am according to my intake "borderline in need of hospitalisation" but supposedly suffienciently stable to not harm myself immediately so they've decided on a wait and see approach. I am feeling a little better today, no so completely hopeless. And I've decided to do a medical withdrawal from classes this semester, get stable and go for it again in the Spring with a lighter workload. I'm bummed about that, but I think it's for the best. I'm too far behind to catch up now, and I don't want to fail my classes. I'm going to follow the advice I've given to others-it takes as long as it takes, to go slow and focussed, and succeed even though they say I can't do it. Screw Dr. Q-. In the meantime I'll keep up with teh syllabi from this semester write the papers and be set next semester with some advance work and my accomodation letters upfront. The SDS director told me that accomodations can't be done retroactively so I'd be fubar'd this semester anyway.  I can't give up, I'm not going to. It's not as hopeless as it sometimes feels and I know deep down I can do this, reclaim my life and my goals. I've come way further than I thought I'd get two years ago and I've got further still to go, but if I can hold onto a nugget of hope and belief in myself, maybe just maybe I can make it.