More Random BS for the day
So after the weekend of being on the road and not being able to come home, I started by adding depressing songs to my playlist on soundcloud. I then decided to search a little on the guy who was sleeping with the wife. I found a picture of him. He looks a lot uglier than I thought. I was feeling so good during the weekend. I haven't even thought of him at all. Well I did talk about him to a very close friend of mine, who happens to be a woman. She knows every deep and dark secret that I have. So it has been a while since we really talked. On Saturday, we talked about 6 hrs or the full duration of the drive from Dallas to South San Antonio. We caught up on what was going on with our lives and how our kids are doing. My wife knows how me and "kandee" are. I was the one who was there for her when her brother committed suicide, and she was there for me when I lost my father, and when we lost our son Isaac. I told her what was going on with my wife, she felt like she knew what was going on from a woman's perspective.
I told her that I felt like I failed my wife. I felt like it was partly my fault because if I had done everything right, she wouldn't have slept with him. She said that A) it wasn't all my fault, B) she did it because the relationship just got dull. She said it sounded like it was more emotional than physical. I told her about the minuscule dick PIC he had sent her too. She said if he was smaller than me there that I had nothing to worry about. But I do. He is also a truckdriver. He told my wife that he loves to sleep with the "lot lizards" that frequently walk the truck stop parking lots and roadside parks. In other words whores. That worries me. Now I have to worry about VD and other STD's. I told her about the weird perversions that he has too. About how he enjoys knowing about how he has sex with another woman and going home to his wife and she gives him oral sex and she doesn't know that he was just inside another woman, and didn't clean himself off. Or how he enjoyed knowing that I kissed my wife after she finished him off orally and I kissed her. Trust me! From a male standpoint, that takes a lot of getting over. Well not as much as everything else but its up there. Anyway. Kandee told me that he probably saw her vulnerable at some point during one of his visits to the restaurant, and took advantage of the situation. She said that it was probably something little like her dropping a pen and he picked it up. It was funny because at that moment I remembered a message where she asked him what made him go up and rub her shoulders. He said that she looked like she needed some attention. That's about when it started. She was mad at me that day. I didn't wash her pants for her the night before and she had to go in with her favorite pair, which she ripped in the butt pocket later that day. Kandee told me that was probably it. She asked me if I normally did that. Spontaneously rub her shoulders? Yes. Do I do anything out of the norm for her? Yes all the time. How about flowers? No! Why not? Because she doesn't like flowers! Why? She isn't used to getting pampered like that. That's Pampering her? Yes. She had Assholes for boyfriends. Except for one. Which is in prison now. Which I found out that is her #1 love of all time. What? Yup she told me that the other day when I asked her who was her #1 man in her life (and don't lie like you do a lot)! She said it was RUDY. Not you? Nope! I figured she would have at least lied about that. But she didn't. I told Kandee that she said that she said that she would only let one man spoil her (Rudy). And that "lil peepee" was spoiling her. Kandee said "see that's one reason"! "It is not your fault. She was weak and vulnerable. You can't blame yourself." She said if I want to fix this, I need to let it go or its gonna eat me up and I'll go crazy. I told her how I read the messages that they shared and the fantasies she wanted "lil peepee" to fulfill. She said that the fantasies probably came after the sex. But usually those don't come up until way later in a relationship. Which is kinda true. The wife and I really didnt start talking about our fantasies until about year 4 of us living together. Kandee seems to think that the sex with him wasn't so good that she had to start sharing fantasies with him to keep the "emotional support" going. Which is also funny because the wife said something similar to that around DDAY.
But all this still doesn't change the fact that she Screwed him. I've wanted to ask her how they did it. Even while we have sex. Just to be an asshole. But I remember to myself that I need to forgive her. Not put fuel on the fire. I want to keep her. Not hold all the bad things she did over her head. She knows what she did was wrong. I just need to make sure that I do not give her a reason to do it again.
But like I was saying earlier, I had a good weekend until I got home last night. I don't know if it was all the moaning and bitching about how bad the kids are, or if it was the fact that I finally found a picture of him, but I almost snapped. The wife asked me a simple question, and I said yes. She then asked the same question again but in a re-worded way and I yelled out... YES!!!! She got up and threw the remote at me and proceeded to the restroom to take a shower. I let her cool off for a few minutes then I jumped in with her. She washed my back kinda half assed then threw the wash rag at me and said "here wash my back". So I put some soap on it and washed her back with a lot of pressure. So much pressure that I seemed to leave some scratch marks. But she enjoyed it. I was thinking about her screwing another man when I did it. But she seemed satisfied with the handiwork. We kissed and made up.
She had the phone today, but I guess she never noticed that I saved his picture on it. I just cant wait to see her reaction when she does notice. I really want to say I figured that I would leave it there for you. That way when you think or even dream of his face, know that I will be be behind you ready to beat the fuck out of both of you ( metaphorically speaking )! Which is true. If I see him in the restaurant I will wait for him to go to his truck and I will pull him out by his ear and pounce on him like a lion does a gazelle.
I dont know if I mentioned before, but I did find out his information on one of those sites you pay. I wonder if one of the numbers is his house. I have had this idea of calling him and thanking him for screwing my wife. Why? Because if it wasnt for him, things couldnt have been better between me and the wife. And how I forgive him. But me forgiving him isnt going to stop me from telling his wife and faxing all the juicy messages to his work. And that the next 18 yrs are going to be hell for him. Which she really isnt prego. But I figure WTF! Why not scare him. I also thought about telling him thanx for the VD. Which is also a fib. I also thought about setting up a fake FB account as another woman who likes truckers and wants to hook up with him.
If anyone reads this tell me what you think.^
I told her that I felt like I failed my wife. I felt like it was partly my fault because if I had done everything right, she wouldn't have slept with him. She said that A) it wasn't all my fault, B) she did it because the relationship just got dull. She said it sounded like it was more emotional than physical. I told her about the minuscule dick PIC he had sent her too. She said if he was smaller than me there that I had nothing to worry about. But I do. He is also a truckdriver. He told my wife that he loves to sleep with the "lot lizards" that frequently walk the truck stop parking lots and roadside parks. In other words whores. That worries me. Now I have to worry about VD and other STD's. I told her about the weird perversions that he has too. About how he enjoys knowing about how he has sex with another woman and going home to his wife and she gives him oral sex and she doesn't know that he was just inside another woman, and didn't clean himself off. Or how he enjoyed knowing that I kissed my wife after she finished him off orally and I kissed her. Trust me! From a male standpoint, that takes a lot of getting over. Well not as much as everything else but its up there. Anyway. Kandee told me that he probably saw her vulnerable at some point during one of his visits to the restaurant, and took advantage of the situation. She said that it was probably something little like her dropping a pen and he picked it up. It was funny because at that moment I remembered a message where she asked him what made him go up and rub her shoulders. He said that she looked like she needed some attention. That's about when it started. She was mad at me that day. I didn't wash her pants for her the night before and she had to go in with her favorite pair, which she ripped in the butt pocket later that day. Kandee told me that was probably it. She asked me if I normally did that. Spontaneously rub her shoulders? Yes. Do I do anything out of the norm for her? Yes all the time. How about flowers? No! Why not? Because she doesn't like flowers! Why? She isn't used to getting pampered like that. That's Pampering her? Yes. She had Assholes for boyfriends. Except for one. Which is in prison now. Which I found out that is her #1 love of all time. What? Yup she told me that the other day when I asked her who was her #1 man in her life (and don't lie like you do a lot)! She said it was RUDY. Not you? Nope! I figured she would have at least lied about that. But she didn't. I told Kandee that she said that she said that she would only let one man spoil her (Rudy). And that "lil peepee" was spoiling her. Kandee said "see that's one reason"! "It is not your fault. She was weak and vulnerable. You can't blame yourself." She said if I want to fix this, I need to let it go or its gonna eat me up and I'll go crazy. I told her how I read the messages that they shared and the fantasies she wanted "lil peepee" to fulfill. She said that the fantasies probably came after the sex. But usually those don't come up until way later in a relationship. Which is kinda true. The wife and I really didnt start talking about our fantasies until about year 4 of us living together. Kandee seems to think that the sex with him wasn't so good that she had to start sharing fantasies with him to keep the "emotional support" going. Which is also funny because the wife said something similar to that around DDAY.
But all this still doesn't change the fact that she Screwed him. I've wanted to ask her how they did it. Even while we have sex. Just to be an asshole. But I remember to myself that I need to forgive her. Not put fuel on the fire. I want to keep her. Not hold all the bad things she did over her head. She knows what she did was wrong. I just need to make sure that I do not give her a reason to do it again.
But like I was saying earlier, I had a good weekend until I got home last night. I don't know if it was all the moaning and bitching about how bad the kids are, or if it was the fact that I finally found a picture of him, but I almost snapped. The wife asked me a simple question, and I said yes. She then asked the same question again but in a re-worded way and I yelled out... YES!!!! She got up and threw the remote at me and proceeded to the restroom to take a shower. I let her cool off for a few minutes then I jumped in with her. She washed my back kinda half assed then threw the wash rag at me and said "here wash my back". So I put some soap on it and washed her back with a lot of pressure. So much pressure that I seemed to leave some scratch marks. But she enjoyed it. I was thinking about her screwing another man when I did it. But she seemed satisfied with the handiwork. We kissed and made up.
She had the phone today, but I guess she never noticed that I saved his picture on it. I just cant wait to see her reaction when she does notice. I really want to say I figured that I would leave it there for you. That way when you think or even dream of his face, know that I will be be behind you ready to beat the fuck out of both of you ( metaphorically speaking )! Which is true. If I see him in the restaurant I will wait for him to go to his truck and I will pull him out by his ear and pounce on him like a lion does a gazelle.
I dont know if I mentioned before, but I did find out his information on one of those sites you pay. I wonder if one of the numbers is his house. I have had this idea of calling him and thanking him for screwing my wife. Why? Because if it wasnt for him, things couldnt have been better between me and the wife. And how I forgive him. But me forgiving him isnt going to stop me from telling his wife and faxing all the juicy messages to his work. And that the next 18 yrs are going to be hell for him. Which she really isnt prego. But I figure WTF! Why not scare him. I also thought about telling him thanx for the VD. Which is also a fib. I also thought about setting up a fake FB account as another woman who likes truckers and wants to hook up with him.
If anyone reads this tell me what you think.^
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