more loss
So, my former MIL passed away last week, after a long illness. While my MIL was ill, my SIL, her daughter, did not take very good care of her. My SIL is well off financially and lives close to my MILs nursing home, yet she only visited her once a month. Very sad.
To make a very long story short,family members came to me with their concerns for MILs care. I mentioned these concerns to my SIL in a very professional non-accusatory manner, yet she still took umbrage. When my MIL took a turn for the worse, my SIL didn't even call me. Luckily, my MILs sister did. When my MIL died, my SIL told her aunt that she would text me the news, luckily my MILs sister intervened once again. I did the right thing and offered to help with the arrangements or anything else that my SIL needed. MY SIL made all of the arrangements without including me, my 2 daughters, or my MILs siblings. I had to search for info on the arrangements on the internet, as did other family members. During my MILs funeral service, my SILs children and husband did readings, yet my children (the only other grandchildren) were not asked. This type of thing just went on and on. My SIL and her family did not include any other family in the receiving line at the wake, and my MILs siblings were so upset. they sat with me in the general seating area at the wake. It was sooo sad. My MIL was such a sweet person and deserved to be taken care of.My SIL was the only surviving child, and did not want the job caring for her mother. When asked to petition the courts to appoint an alternative caregiver, my SIL refused. So sad.
To make a very long story short,family members came to me with their concerns for MILs care. I mentioned these concerns to my SIL in a very professional non-accusatory manner, yet she still took umbrage. When my MIL took a turn for the worse, my SIL didn't even call me. Luckily, my MILs sister did. When my MIL died, my SIL told her aunt that she would text me the news, luckily my MILs sister intervened once again. I did the right thing and offered to help with the arrangements or anything else that my SIL needed. MY SIL made all of the arrangements without including me, my 2 daughters, or my MILs siblings. I had to search for info on the arrangements on the internet, as did other family members. During my MILs funeral service, my SILs children and husband did readings, yet my children (the only other grandchildren) were not asked. This type of thing just went on and on. My SIL and her family did not include any other family in the receiving line at the wake, and my MILs siblings were so upset. they sat with me in the general seating area at the wake. It was sooo sad. My MIL was such a sweet person and deserved to be taken care of.My SIL was the only surviving child, and did not want the job caring for her mother. When asked to petition the courts to appoint an alternative caregiver, my SIL refused. So sad.
Replies
Yes, this is so sad and I\'m so sorry for your children and the other family members that were not provided the opportunity to share at your MIL\'s wake (service). That\'s just plain wrong. Remember lady karma takes care of her own. We all want to fight the injustices in this world, however, it is a waste of our precious energy. Try to acknowledge your feelings, then let them go. Let the SIL go and know that she will reap her just \"dues\" in time. Forgive her (forgiveness is more for you, the forgiver). Don\'t harbor ill will as it will ultimately hurt you and cause more pain. Again, I\'m so very sorry. Hugs, D
Thank you, D. I just don\'t understand how someone could be so uncaring. My late husband was a warm, loving, attentive person. His sister is the exact opposite.