More Good Advice
I talked to my therapist again today and she had a lot of good advice for me. I told her I was having problems with depression and mood swings and she said I need to take out more time for myself. I need to do stuff that I want to do, just for the sake of doing something fun. Let myself go, give myself something to look forward to during the day to get me out of bed. I was telling her how having my coffee in the morning helps me a lot, and she agreed that it was a good idea. She said I need to have some sort of routine to look forward to. I think getting up in the morning, having my coffee and watching some music videos would be good. I love watching music videos and discovering new music. I don't listen to the radio or really get any new musical input, so watching VH1 in the morning or something would be good just to expose me to what's out there. I want to learn some more songs to sing and dance to.
Today wasn't good with food, though. I ate too much rice and beans I guess when I went out, and so my calories were high for the day. I got a stomachache when I thought about how much I had eaten and how I was going to gain weight. I'm getting a bit obsessive about my food again, so I need to figure out how to dial back on the OCD and eating disorder habits and get some healthy eating patterns. I know it's just because I had a Mt. Dew today and that was 330 calories, not the rice and beans, but I want to blame the food. I had my nightly chicken, but it was baked with bread crumbs and a bit of salad dressing to make them stick. I took the mashed potatoes off my food list and didn't eat them, but ate some of the greasy breadcrumbs at the bottom of the pan, since they were accounted for. All this could have been avoided if I had just not drank the Mt. Dew. I wish there was a way to stop obsessing about food and drinks. I ended up in my calorie range, though, after I didn't eat the potatoes.
I think next week I need to talk to my therapist about my old ED habits... since it looks like they might be coming back. I can try and fight them, but I do want to lose weight. I have to see what's more important- my physical health or my mental health. Well, right now my physical health is not in danger, so I think I should just focus on working out and not so much on the food and calories. I don't know... I need to do some thinking about this and re-evaluate in a bit to see what needs to be done. I just need to do it soon so I don't get out of control.
Stress/Mood/Sleep/Food- I called the car place today... not good news, but there's nothing I can do about it so I have to get it off my mind. It's not going to hurt me so I have to just let it go. I didn't really think about the loans stuff today, just the car. Mood- I'm bad with the ED thoughts and just tired... sleep- I got about 8 hours last night, not enough for me. I talked about my food above already.
Today wasn't good with food, though. I ate too much rice and beans I guess when I went out, and so my calories were high for the day. I got a stomachache when I thought about how much I had eaten and how I was going to gain weight. I'm getting a bit obsessive about my food again, so I need to figure out how to dial back on the OCD and eating disorder habits and get some healthy eating patterns. I know it's just because I had a Mt. Dew today and that was 330 calories, not the rice and beans, but I want to blame the food. I had my nightly chicken, but it was baked with bread crumbs and a bit of salad dressing to make them stick. I took the mashed potatoes off my food list and didn't eat them, but ate some of the greasy breadcrumbs at the bottom of the pan, since they were accounted for. All this could have been avoided if I had just not drank the Mt. Dew. I wish there was a way to stop obsessing about food and drinks. I ended up in my calorie range, though, after I didn't eat the potatoes.
I think next week I need to talk to my therapist about my old ED habits... since it looks like they might be coming back. I can try and fight them, but I do want to lose weight. I have to see what's more important- my physical health or my mental health. Well, right now my physical health is not in danger, so I think I should just focus on working out and not so much on the food and calories. I don't know... I need to do some thinking about this and re-evaluate in a bit to see what needs to be done. I just need to do it soon so I don't get out of control.
Stress/Mood/Sleep/Food- I called the car place today... not good news, but there's nothing I can do about it so I have to get it off my mind. It's not going to hurt me so I have to just let it go. I didn't really think about the loans stuff today, just the car. Mood- I'm bad with the ED thoughts and just tired... sleep- I got about 8 hours last night, not enough for me. I talked about my food above already.
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