More anniversaries

Two years ago today my dad (who raised me - not biodad) died. 
I don't think H realizes or remembers.   I was never close with my dad, not even after Mom died.  In a lot of ways, I took family angst out on him to protect love for my mom. It is the same as the way I feel such hate and outrage toward OW instead of H, I guess. 
The sister and brother with whom I was raised will likely not contact me. One of my bio-dad's sons may call even though we've never met.  He probably won't care or remember the significance of today, but rather will be wishing a merry Christmas before he dives into all of his own family holiday activities. 
I guess that's the hardest part of all of these crappy anniversaries: suffering alone.  I know that in theory I should be able to open up to H about this one and get his support, but he doesn't tick that way. He'll uncomfortably say, "I'm sorry, Baby Girl," and then duck his emotional head in the sand. He will try to distract and redirect if I dive any deeper than surface level. He is very uncomfortable with my pain. 
 
So. Life goes on - at least for me.  Guess I will try to put some holiday cheer on and pretend I'm ok.