more me

Hello journal,I'm on to give another update.........things are going pretty much the same at the moment, no more attacks to report, but still no improvement either. I think one of the reasons that it is taking so long to get back to normal is that i am due to go away for five days next month and it is praying on my mind.  i know that it is daft and that everything will be ok when i am gone, but i still worry. It's London im off to with mick and it should be good......doing the usual sightseeing and cultural stuff......i am looking forward to it, its just the day of leaving that is especially bad......i feel guilty for leaving my cats because i know they dont settle when im away...god knows what id be like if i had kids???   Its not as if they are in the house alone, my wee brother or sister normally comes and stays in the house to watch them, but all the same the guilt remains.  When i was younger and stayed at home i was always convinced that if i went away anywhere something bad would happen at home, and i guess in some way i have moulded the same feelings of insecurity to my present situation.  i would like to think that when the time comes i will handle it with a little more dignity than usual, but hey one way or another i will be going.TTFN xx