Mood Swinging Day

Today I had a mood swinging day. I woke up on time after about 9 hours of sleep, then got up and went to therapy. My therapist and I talked about something personal that I'm going to journal about privately if I think it's necessary, and then just put it behind me. I talked to Geo about what my therapist and I talked about and he gave me a better perspective on it, since he knows the people involved. On the way out of therapy I got really depressed, and went and ate a big salad and spent too much money on it, which made me more depressed. I took the bus home and just felt like pure and utter crap the whole way home. When I got to the bus stop, I saw that the blood donation van was across the street like usual and I was feeling physically well, so I decided to donate blood. I talked with the people while I was donating and I started feeling less depressed. By the time I left the blood donation place, I was feeling almost normal, and took my last bus home. I was going to walk, but the guy from the blood donor van said I should take the bus just in case since I have a history of fainting after donating. 
I got home and I was feeling okay, and after talking to Geo about the stuff I was feeling pretty okay. I went to the room and tried to nap, but couldn't sleep so I just lay in bed for a while and started to get depressed again. I just wanted attention, and I thought about going to the hospital. I'm scared that I'm going to have to go in again since when I get like this it normally ends up that way. I psych myself into going to the hospital when I feel like I'm not getting the attention I need. I'm not talking about regular attention, or even sexual attention... I'm talking about a constant demand for someone to pay attention to me, and it doesn't matter who it is as long as I get the attention. It's not healthy, it's part of the Borderline Personality Disorder I have, and I need to get over it. The only way for me to is to fight the constant feelings of emptiness that come with it and somehow find a way to stay out of the hospital. I wish I could see my therapist more often since I need a way to figure out coping skills with this borderline, but I guess I will just have to wait until I get paid again.
I'm feeling okay right now. I should call my friend Kate, I told her I would call her, but I didn't yet. She's depressed right now, like everyone I know right now, and I don't know if I can handle talking to her. But I told her I'd call her, and so I don't know what to do. I may just send her a text message since that's the easiest way, just saying I don't feel well and that I want to go to bed early. I don't think it's going to be a problem. I just don't want to talk to someone depressed since I'm on the verge of depression myself and I don't want to give myself any ammo to go down even more since I have enough already. 
Physically, today my elbow has been hurting like crazy, I almost went to Urgent Care for it, since I didn't know what to do and it really hurts, but I took some Vicodin and it's feeling better. I don't like the idea of taking a bunch of vicodin to make it go away, but it's better than having to pay a ton of money for Urgent Care that I can't afford. This is the second time this elbow pain has happened to me, and the other time was also when I was about to go into the hospital, so maybe it's a psychosomatic thing. It's not on the elbow I donated blood from, it's on the other one. My elbow was hurting before I donated blood but after I woke up. I think I hurt it swinging at the plague of mosquitoes that attacked me when I walked out of my apartment on the way to see my therapist. 
I think I need to end this journal.... my eyes are glazed over and it's hard for me to see. I know I'm typing the right words for the most part because if I misspell something it gets underlined in red and so I just look for things that are underlined. But it's really hard for me to see, so I'm going to go for now.