Monday May 5th,2008

Soon it will be 4 years that I lost my beloved brother and believe me this pain is real and will not go away.I am in a very bad depression and right now in seattle,I cannot get help.Everyday I get up and do the housework and all of the basic things,but the joy of hearing my brothers voice is gone and I do feel so empty.But i have decided to live and not do anything at all drastic.Life can be a joy and I am now planning it and things to do.The first thing that I am going to do is to leave Brad after this court thing is over.But I must pay off that energy bill first and it will be done.He is just changing and I see it everyday.I feel so alone.I feel like a misfit and I just feel that the whole world is against me.Listen,I did not want to leave my hometown.But I had to.My mother was getting to be a handful and she was getting out of control.And no matter what I did and tried to help around the house,she would scream.Listen..Lets stop putting such an emphasis on having a house ok? A house is just a lot of work for the woman because the man does not do anything in it at all.Yesterday..Brad cut the grass and all of the cats were out.Who do you thing watched them? Not every one in seattle likes cats and with the emergence of spring..we have what you call crazies here and I have seen them in my neighborhood.These people are nice to me because I talk to them and tell them about the services in seattle.We do have shelters here and believe me it is not their right to sleep in the driveway.Some of them just do not pay rent..but they have jobs and some of them get more money then I do and yet-they are homeless.Why? Ladies,please listen to me--do not make this mistake.A man is not worth all of the heartache and trouble and without money in seattle today well you can not get a cup of coffee.Always have your own money and do not share it.And do not believe about identity theft.The people who are vicitms are rather stupid here.One of them here had her checks in the glove department and another carried them in her purse.If you are planning to do shopping,I always bring cash.I always bring 20.00 and if it is stolen,I use my debit card.But please as a favor to yourself tell everyone everything about yourself.Please do not open up as they say.Your life can depend on it.Noone knows my last name or where I live.I do not have a phone.I do not a mailbox and no mail that is important is delivered to my home-with the exceptions of packages.Do not tell anyone anything about you.Please.Your life will thank you.