Monday comes around
Monday morning. The dishes got done. But wow we made a lot of 'em yesterday! My son Byron and his sweet Caitlin came over in the early afternoon and we cooked up a ton of delicious football foods. The best part of the whole day was just being with him. We have both been missing Andy so much. I said to Byron there's no fix for that. We have to just carry it. So we do. We mention Andy's name pretty often. He hated Pixar and Dreamworks movies... all those ads during the Superbowl... he would have gone into a tirade: what's wrong with good old animation!?
I wish Byron had another sibling to do this life with. I always thought that was a potential risk, having only two kids. But I was one of those children of the 60's (born in 55) who was raised on Rachel Carson, Wendell Berry, ZPG, etc. We weren't supposed to have more than two. It wasn't right. Of course now I'm surrounded all the time by people who did what they wanted to do and have 3, 4, even 10 kids. It's confusing in terms of burden on the planet, but I can see the upside of it, easily. You have more love, potentially, and more support. Less likely to be alone. I love my sister and brothers so much...
I'm TRYING to be cheery and green smiley, I swear! Just letting some thoughts come to the surface, lol. I feel strong and capable. I feel I have a lot to give. I feel that the broken parts of me are being given the necessary support, space, and time. I feel that while Andy got a very unlucky break with cancer, he was also profoundly blessed by being in our family, where a guy gets every kind of love and support. The unconditional love...
And what could be better than that. : )
I wish Byron had another sibling to do this life with. I always thought that was a potential risk, having only two kids. But I was one of those children of the 60's (born in 55) who was raised on Rachel Carson, Wendell Berry, ZPG, etc. We weren't supposed to have more than two. It wasn't right. Of course now I'm surrounded all the time by people who did what they wanted to do and have 3, 4, even 10 kids. It's confusing in terms of burden on the planet, but I can see the upside of it, easily. You have more love, potentially, and more support. Less likely to be alone. I love my sister and brothers so much...
I'm TRYING to be cheery and green smiley, I swear! Just letting some thoughts come to the surface, lol. I feel strong and capable. I feel I have a lot to give. I feel that the broken parts of me are being given the necessary support, space, and time. I feel that while Andy got a very unlucky break with cancer, he was also profoundly blessed by being in our family, where a guy gets every kind of love and support. The unconditional love...
And what could be better than that. : )
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