Monday blues (again)
There are some days in which I feel so low, I wish I hadn't gotten out of bed. This is one of them.
Maybe I should also join the Depression forum on this website? I do have clinical depression, anxiety, and ocd, after all. I see a psychiatrist and am medicated for all of the above. Juno's death just exacerbated what I already struggle with on a daily basis. I don't know. I'll think about it, check it out. I DO find it VERY comforting to come here to the pet bereavement forum and relate to people who are still struggling to "get over" (or heal a bit more from, or however one can say it) the death of their pets, because others in my life don't "get it." They never will.
I'm an empty shell today. I'm 36. I don't want to feel like this for the rest of my life. My high school students are so sweet, they look at me as a role model....if they could only know what my jokes and laughter and witty comebacks hide. They'd be horrified. It would depress them.
Almost halfway through teaching today, then a faculty mtg after work. Meetings, meetings, meetings. I'm sick of them. Lock me in a room with literature and my kids all day and I'd be happy as a clam.
Maybe I should also join the Depression forum on this website? I do have clinical depression, anxiety, and ocd, after all. I see a psychiatrist and am medicated for all of the above. Juno's death just exacerbated what I already struggle with on a daily basis. I don't know. I'll think about it, check it out. I DO find it VERY comforting to come here to the pet bereavement forum and relate to people who are still struggling to "get over" (or heal a bit more from, or however one can say it) the death of their pets, because others in my life don't "get it." They never will.
I'm an empty shell today. I'm 36. I don't want to feel like this for the rest of my life. My high school students are so sweet, they look at me as a role model....if they could only know what my jokes and laughter and witty comebacks hide. They'd be horrified. It would depress them.
Almost halfway through teaching today, then a faculty mtg after work. Meetings, meetings, meetings. I'm sick of them. Lock me in a room with literature and my kids all day and I'd be happy as a clam.
Replies
You and I have so much in common as I also suffer from depression, anxiety and OCD I was seeing a counselor on a regular basis but I was changed counselors and I just don\'t have a connection with this one. I have only seen her a couple of times and still no connection. I was seeing my last one for 4 or 5 years and it\'s so hard to start with someone new.
I am not able to take medications for any of my issues. I just don\'t handle medications well and they make me so sick. I gave up trying to find one that will work for me.
I also can relate to nobody understanding my loss of Abby. I cry only when I am alone because everyone think I should be over it. She has been gone 8 months today and when I woke up this morning the first thing I thought of was that 8 months ago this morning I still had her and was fixing her breakfast. I am replaying that whole day hour by hour just like I have done every month for 8 months and crying.
I\'m sorry this is not helping you but I am feeling so down this morning. I do hope you have a good day. You have been in my thoughts and prayers. If you do join the depression group, just be careful. I sometimes found it hard to be there because of everyone being so depressed. I hope I explained that right.........anyway hard to explain...............take care and have a good week.
Aw, I\'m so sorry about Abby. This must be a very hard day for you. Let yourself cry it out. Do you find that this site helps?
I\'m sorry you haven\'t been able to find meds that work. That said, I don\'t think my meds work completely, but my obsessive-compulsive behavior has calmed down a bit. And I remember being even lower before I was on prozac for depression.
I don\'t love/adore my doctor, but she has been extremely helpful in many ways, and she\'s the best psychiatrist I\'ve found (after many, many, many tries with different people who did not work out)....I\'ve been seeing her since 2008. I understand the frustration of trying to find a new counselor - trust me!! All I can say is that you must keep on trying -- it is so useful when you can vent to someone in SOME way.
I will keep your thoughts about the Depression forum in mind -- thank you for the warning. I can understand that it might be \"too much,\" so I\'m wary of that, definitely.
I\'m sending you lots of hugs. Peace will come to us....we just have to let time go by, as the cliche goes....I\'m always here! Hugs, ok? You\'re not alone, dear!!