Monday again

It is Monday, again, and the school vacation is overwith. My 9 year old is back at school, and there are auditions tonight so she will be late. I'm here, once again wondering what to do with my time. I have work to do, but cannot do the outside work because it is raining, and I'm wandering about, once again, wondering what to fill my time with.  I'm tired. I've been tired for a while. Couldn't sleep last night, so I'm wiped out today, as usual. The girl was off school for a week, and even though we did go away from Sunday to Wednesday last week, by the weekend she was bored and starting to get fidgety. She called her former foster family a dozen times over the weekend, and it looks as if we might be needing to go camping with them.  I think I might be too old for camping now. I want to tell he no, but don't want to let her down and disapoint her.  I explained to her last night that it was her behavior that made me tell her that she couldn't talk to them before, because she seemed to think that she had to prove to them that they were more important to her than I was, and to prove that she treated me badly in front of them. Shortly after she moved in with me, she was on the phone with them and walked by me and punched me in the stomach (for no apparent reason) just to prove to them that she wasn't being disloyal to them by liking me. I told her that she can like anyone she wants, but she owes her loyalty to me - meaning that no matter who she is talking to, she does not have to hide the fact that she actually likes me, as well. it did keep me awake last night, though. That and the fact that my legs were twitching again. On the tv they call it "restless leg syndrome", but in real life it is just that sometimes I don't get enough excercise during the day (or too much), and my legs twitch when I try to go to bed. It doesn't happen very often, and I refuse to start taking chemicals to control it when it is such an infrequent problem.  I wish I were more well balanced, but I've never been. I just hope that my lack of balance doesn't unbalance the girl too much, because her life has been pretty tough up until now. She has quite a lot of baggage for someone only 9 years old!