Monday
I'm still in a funk. I did not wear the engagement ring Joe gave me and try to avoid wearing it which tells me I need to listen to my gut and just tell him-the way this whole thing went down just wasn't comfortable. 1/2 my things are already moved back to my old residence. I went there yesterday and just hung out and talked to Roomie as friends. Sammycat warmed up to me right away.
Last night I stopped at Walmart-they were out of just about everything as far as staples go--milk, bread, eggs...etc. Oh well. I grabbed peanut butter and sloppy joe mix:) I have counseling tommorow and I will be talking to counselor extensively about my situation. I am giving RV Joe no more money-telling him I'm tapped out. Ive already spend 1/3 of my savings just being there.
As always...Ive just gotta sort thru this-but first I need to go home and talk to him if he'll listen to me rationally.
Replies
Your use of the word, "Friend" is quite confusing. Is that a promotion for ol' Roomie? Does he still have to sit through, "The Talks?" Do you have female friends?
Just curious in a not-mine-to-sort sorta way. . .
Continued support while you sort, Pecos Sage. Easy does it.
Roomie and I are just friends. There have been no "benefits" for a year now. I go over and listen to him talk about work and whats going on in the world. He ask me no questions and doesn't seem to judge me.
I talked to RV Joe last night. Told him that after the initial shock for me was over regarding this surprise engagement, that I have been thinking that things are happening way too fast.
Truthfully, I miss my space and my cat and can't get past how "convenient" it's been for him since I've been there. This tells me I am having trust issues with him. Arfie, I can't get close enough to people to have lasting friendships-this is why I use this site.
Your instincts are telling you RV guy and marriage and the living situation with him is a bad idea. That is not a trust issue. Christ, don't listen to him.
Really if you had serious trust issues, you wouldn't trust enough to accept a whim proposal, move into an RV and start giving him your money. That doesn't sound like not being able to trust. That sounds like getting swept up in the idea of it all.
If you get along with your roommate and are just friends, why all the past lamenting about him? Why all that worry about moving out? If you can live with your roomie strictly as friends why not stay, save some money and then get your own place later?
I think you're making his a far more complicated situation than it really needs to be. Why not just work on yourself without any thought about past lovers and current suitors? What if it was just about you taking care of you, making sure you are meeting your own needs, happy and whole independent of anyone else?
Sorry I don't mean to over simplify. In my job, I call it getting back to basics, when I see we are losing our way with a process or go down a convoluted path with a problem. Sometimes in order to just get clear on things, to see the big picture or the problem, it's a matter of stripping back all the what I call "whoohaa," the stuff that bogs us down, and getting back to basics. I try to apply that to my non work life too. It really helps me get not only clear, but honest with myself about what is within my control, what is not and how I really feel about something.
Roommate has his challenges..but...this latest chaos makes him look like a nun in church. Between feeling alone or chaos...ill choose feeling alone. Terrible lesson ive had to learn.