Monday 1/13/2014

So the pain was actually pretty mild this weekend. I had a few flairups but not too bad. It's never gone but I can somewhat ignore it if I keep myself busy but it always seems to remind me that its here.
Tomorrow is my derm doc appointment. I have no idea what to expect. He will probably tell me he can't help and shove me off to some other doc. I know, that's being negative. Ok, so I'll be positive. This doc will actually have a clue and give me something to at least control the symptoms! That's all I ask. If I have to live with pain the rest of my life then so be it but my God please give me something to control the symptoms!!!
Anyway, mentally I'm doing okay which is good. I feel it's the Klonopin that doing the trick. I'll have to work with my primary doc since I know that Klonopin is only a temporary fix. I'll take any win I can get right now.
The next two days should be light work days. I just need to verify all the install files and do some more of my own testing. I'll pass it off to another person for testing Wednesday to shake out the bugs. I just need this to be perfect.
It's in the 50's but its so damp I had to crank up the heat. Then I'll get too hot. I just want to be physically and mentally comfortable. I'll get there someday soon. See, I can be positive :)
10:50am. So I just finished checking all the install files. I'm going to do some cardio then do some testing this afternoon. The derm doc called to confirm 2:20pm tomorrow. My poor aunt has a 3:30pm tomorrow to try and find meds for her Parkinsons as the stuff she has isn't working. I wish we humans didn't have to suffer so much but I have to believe this is a small temporary cost for what comes in the afterlife. I find it very hard to believe that this life is the beginning and the end. I believe it to be the first step in a very long journey that doesn't have a destination.
I finally put all the Christmas stuff away. All 2 things. Hey, it's a big deal for me! I ran the Swiffer over everything too. Not much dust because of the filters so that's a good thing. I need to kick my arse into gear to workout. At least working out gives me a good pain plus I don't want to get heavy like I was a few years ago. I worked too hard to keep my weight down to let this chronic pain or depression derail me again. FU pain and depression! I will NOT be limited by this BS!
7:26pm. Not a bad day for the most part. Did some work, cardio workout and played some video games. The chronic pain is still here but it's been mild for 3 days which is pretty good. Tomorrow is my derm appointment. I really want to be positive and believe that this doc finds something that helps. It's just hard to get too excited only to be let down again but we will see.
Bit of a headache but I don't want to take anything. I want to make sure I can tell the doc exactly how I'm feeling without trying to numb anything with meds. God only knows what's wrond with me. I just hope God grants this doc the wisdom to at least give me something for some relief. I feel tomorrow is going to be a long day.