Mommy is thinking of you.

Hello my beautiful angel. Today mommy broke down again thinking about you and wishing you were here. I remember counting and marking each day that passed that would eventually lead up to the day I would get to meet you. Every month I would keep track of your growth and compare your growth to a fig, a lemon, an apple, a mango and I finally made it to a banana. I was getting so anxious and started buying you baby clothes and the pink bottles I was going to feed you with. I was counting each and every day. When I stared to feel you move it was the most spectacular moment. I knew you were there and you were letting mommy know you were there.Mommy was so in love with you and could not wait for that moment that I would hear your first cry at the hospital.  Evelyn,  mommy loves you so much and mommy doesn't know how to ease the heartache. Instead of counting the days until I get to meet you, mommy is counting the days since mommy lost you. The pain at times mommy covers up with a smile that is not genuine and most of the time is spent with tears running down my face. Mommy will forever hold you dear to my heart. My precious angel, mommy loves you