"Momming" in 2021 while working full time

Momming is hard when you have a full time career and so does your spouse. The chores and children still fall onto your plate not the fathers. It is very frustrating. We both work more than 40 hours per week, yet im the one that does the cooking and cleaning, laundry, groceries and kids homework with them, takes them to their appointments, arranges play dates etc etc etc. Some men i hear are very good at taking on half of the duties. It seems no matter how many times i have this discussion with my husband im still the one reminding him. And if im the one sending the reminders it is implied as my task to complete, on my to do list not his. It is very frustrating. My therapis says i am over functioning and i need to stop becuase that is not a good example to show my daughters. At what point will we progress to a time where fathers and mothers role expectations are equal and not from the 1950's.

i would love to come home at the end of the day to a hot dinner on the table and then just sit on the couch while someone else did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen after. Then proceeded to give the children their bedtime snacks.....sigh.......what a wonderful world that would be.

Sometimes i wonder what would happen if i didnt, but ive never tried because i care too much about my kids. Maybe i should just not do any of the above and see how long it takes for him to notice and for the walls to start crumbling down. Again i dont want my kids in that environment either. 

I don't like to complain i like to take action but ive tried so many times through conversations that im not sure where to go from here.