Mixed Holiday Weekend....

I'm not quite sure how to describe this Weekend. To say that it's been " Good " seems to be a bit of a stretch since Friday Night was NOT " Good " ! We BOTH knew that there was bound to be some people around this apartment complex that would be setting Fireworks off, BUT what I DIDN'T KNOW was that My Bf would have a TERRIBLE REACTION to the Noise of the Fireworks ! As soon as the Fireworks noises started He started getting VERY Irritable, and was almost instantly in a FULL-BLOWN RAGE ! To give You the Picture of how BAD it was.... I was simply starting to UnLoad the Dishwasher, while He was in the Bathroom.... BUT when He came out from the Bathroom, and saw Me in the Kitchen, He YELLED AT ME... " WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU DOING ? YOU CAN'T MIX THE DIRTY DISHES WITH THE CLEAN ! GET AWAY FROM THERE RIGHT NOW BEFORE I BEAT YOU ! MOVE NOW ! "His reaction to Me simply trying to Help, shocked and terrified Me to the bone ! I quickly rushed over to My Recliner Chair as fast as I could, while keeping My Eyes on Him the Whole Time... I wasn't about to let Him out of My Sight !  I wasn't sure WHAT He was going to do NEXT ! In the Back of My Mind I wondered IF I'd be able to get to the Phone to call the COPS, WITHOUT Him SERIOUSLY Hurting Me FIRST ! I figured that it wasn't worth trying, since I was SURE in the Mood He was in that it'd end up VERY BADLY ! THANK GOD ! He DIDN'T Hit Me !.... just threatened Me, though as You ALL know that's almost just as BAD ! BEFORE He saw Me in the Kitchen He was MUMBLING to HIMSELF something about... " I'm NOT going to get STUCK like in ' 99 ! I'm NOT going to let it happen AGAIN ! "I had NO IDEA what He was talking about. ALL I knew is that I got YELLED AT for trying to help in the Kitchen. His RAVING about Me trying to MIX the Dirty Dishes with the Clean Ones was NUTS, because I WASN'T doing that ! I TRIED to EXPLAIN that, and to say that I was SIMPLY trying to Help... BUT He wouldn't hear it ! His Response to My Explanation was to call Me Cruel, and Hateful, Names ! It wasn't until MUCH LATER.... AFTER He had THANKFULLY went OUT for a " WALK " that He explained what He meant be NOT wanting to get STUCK like in ' 99 ! He said that back in ' 99 He ended up STUCK INDOORS for about 6 Hours because of some People in Town NOT ONLY letting FIREWORKS OFF... BUT ALSO SHOOTING THEIR GUNS IN THE AIR  ! He SAID that back then... in Toledo, Ohio.... that for a Short Time during the Evening Hours, in Toledo Ohio, People are ALLOWED to shoot off Their Guns in Celebration of the 4th of July ! Whether or NOT this is the Truth..... I don't know. It doesn't sound possible, but I won't argue with Him about it... it's just NOT worth arguing over. I tried to reassure Him that it's NOT ALLOWED here in Brandon, Florida.... BUT He still insisted that the Noise of the Fireworks going off outside made Him feel Claustrophobic, and feel UNSAFE ! He said that outside... in the OPEN... OR in a Large Store like the Local Wal-Mart... He feels a LOT better... So He ended up Walking to the Local Wal-Mart that Night.I was just THANKFUL that He LEFT before He ended up making good on His THREAT to beat Me ! I think He knew deep down that He was VERY CLOSE to doing that ! Now... Looking back at Friday Night... it's as if He wants to be APPLAUDED for going for a Walk, instead of going through with His THREAT of Hurting ME ! I told Him I was " grateful " that He did go for a Walk.... but I didn't know what else I could say. After all, HE SHOULDN'T HAVE THREATENED ME in the FIRST PLACE ! He MISSES that Point entirely !I can't Point that out to Him, because then He'd just put Everything back on ME.... as He tends to do a LOT of the Time... and He'd probably say that I was " focusing on the Negative " too much !... or something else ridiculous like that ! Other than Friday Night... I suppose the Rest of the Weekend's been OKAY.He has been pretty " Nice " the rest of the Time.... even though He's spent a LOT of Time Online doing a LOT of Typing / Chatting while He's Online ! He KNOWS how much it UPSETS Me when He Chats that MUCH ! BUT... even knowing that, doesn't change a Thing ! He'll do it ANYWAY ! He's given Me " EXPLANATIONS " about the Women He's been messaging lately, AS IF that makes it OKAY ! LOL..... He doesn't Understand Me NEARLY AS GOOD AS HE THINKS if He truly believes that His " EXPLANATIONS " really help ! The TRUTH remains that He spends HOURS Online saying ' THINGS ' to OTHER WOMEN that He SHOULD NOT BE SAYING to Them !!!!!Does He CARE about My Feelings about it ???? OH HECK NO !!! Obviously He doesn't... OR He would have STOPPED doing it a LONG TIME AGO ! The Catch 22 about it, I think is that HE KNOWS that I FEAR His ANGER !HE KNOWS that I do EVERYTHING I can to AVOID His ANGER, and HE KNOWS that IF He even HINTS at getting ANGRY when I mention His CHATTING with OTHER WOMEN, that I'll drop it because I DON'T want to face His RAGE ! IT'S NOT RIGHT !!!! AND HE KNOWS IT .... but I guess He figures it's OKAY. At least that's how it seems. Maybe I'm wrong.... BUT I don't think so, and Besides... It's NOT as if I can truly have a Normal conversation about it with Him, since the Potential of it ending up as an arguement is too high !CAN YOU TELL MY FRUSTRATION LEVEL ABOUT THIS TOPIC IS PRETTY HIGH ? That's why You'll probably rarely see Me speak up about it, BUT I know that writing about it... letting it out... actually will help Me in the Long Run.Anyways... enough RAMBLING ON for One Entry... LOL Got to go before My Typing wakes Him up from His Nap.... I'm still hoping He'll STAY asleep for another Hour, or So... to give Me LOTS of Time Online FOR ONCE !