mixed emotions

Things are running very smoothly with T.  Naturally, I am suspicious at times - so I check his cell phone transactions and saw that he had made calls to his major drug using friend.  He made the calls but this guy never returned the calls.  Other than that.......he shows no signs of using.  He's been great, in fact.  He even reconnected with his sponsor and went to meeting last night.  Actually, I thought he was just meeting with his sponsor and then taking off with a friend - so when I called him, after my soccer game, and he didn't pick up -- I was a little concerned.  I didn't know he was actually going to an AA meeting - and that is why he didn't pick up!  Apparently,  his phone did ring (during the meeting) and that was when he turned it off.  Afterward, he told me to not ever call him during one of his meetings!  It was so wonderful to hear.  He wasn't mad -  I apologized - telling him that I didn't realize that was where he went! Things aren't going smoothly for J, however.  I was frustrated with him, upon returning home from work today and found him on the couch -- here it was nearly dinner time and he just woke up.  He was supposed to meet up with his dad to check out things at the college he was to attend but he never got up.  He said he didn't go to sleep until 6:30 this morning........couldn't sleep.  Long story short......I told him that I would have his cell phone service turned off because he refuses to come home at 1AM on a week night, telling me "it's too early".   Sorry.......bud.   Well, I took his phone instead of turning it off and he broke down crying!  Something is going on....because THAT was an overreaction..  Anyway, he left.  Said he's going to be gone for awhile.  It breaks my heart.  I had to take a hard line.  I know he's stressed and confused as to what he wants to do but........ I also know he is "dabbling" in some illegal substances.  Since I kept the phone I looked at his tex messages -  it looked like drug talk to me.  Not sure if this  use is at the level we should be very concerned about OR  if he's "just" doing it like many of his peers.  Not sure.  I am not sure if he's self medicating (since he took himself off of anti- depressants OR what.  I hope he's okay I didn't make things worse.  Today I learned that one of his classmates from high school, 19, died in a car crash.  It was so sad.  His mom lost her husband (his dad) to cancer in '02, and his younger sister survived cancer at 4 years old.  So sad.  T was friends with the boy who died.  He was the second friend of T's who died within the last 6 months (both graduated with J).  Maybe that's why I'm feeling even more badly than I would under these circumstances.  It really hits way too close to home........