mixed emotions
well, this week has been a pretty rough week. i'm waiting for a call this upcomming week to set up the final mri for a confirm of rrms or cims.
and i have to say i have mixed emotions about it. i'm glad i finally have a name to put to this four year nightmare, and i'm actually glad i'ts not worse. don't get me wrong, it's not gret, but for me, it could be so much worse. i'm also slightly depressed. i mean, who wnats to be told they have a chronic illness that can strike at any time and may or may not get better? i'm also sligtly anxious thinking about treatment options.
should i treat with dmd's? should i waite a while before deciding? whichever route i go it's going to be expensive even with insurance.
but all that is in God's hands. I have a husband who loves me for me. I have a biological family that drives me nuts but that I love very much, and I have a very supportive church family as well, and it makes a difference.
i'm als learning to enjoy things. i'm learning not to take things for granted, and i'm learning to laugh at myself and the silly things i've been doing like putting my shoes on the wrong feet and forgetting how to work the microwave, and speaking in cursive. It also gets very interesting when I mix my words up.
While I may have transient health, I have the love and grace of God. I also have the promise that while it will get worse that He will deliver me of this. Not necssillary in my timing, but in His.
There may be sorrow and tears now, but there will be joy in the morning. I'm not afraid. I don't have to like it, but I do have to be willing to let God use it.
and i have to say i have mixed emotions about it. i'm glad i finally have a name to put to this four year nightmare, and i'm actually glad i'ts not worse. don't get me wrong, it's not gret, but for me, it could be so much worse. i'm also slightly depressed. i mean, who wnats to be told they have a chronic illness that can strike at any time and may or may not get better? i'm also sligtly anxious thinking about treatment options.
should i treat with dmd's? should i waite a while before deciding? whichever route i go it's going to be expensive even with insurance.
but all that is in God's hands. I have a husband who loves me for me. I have a biological family that drives me nuts but that I love very much, and I have a very supportive church family as well, and it makes a difference.
i'm als learning to enjoy things. i'm learning not to take things for granted, and i'm learning to laugh at myself and the silly things i've been doing like putting my shoes on the wrong feet and forgetting how to work the microwave, and speaking in cursive. It also gets very interesting when I mix my words up.
While I may have transient health, I have the love and grace of God. I also have the promise that while it will get worse that He will deliver me of this. Not necssillary in my timing, but in His.
There may be sorrow and tears now, but there will be joy in the morning. I'm not afraid. I don't have to like it, but I do have to be willing to let God use it.
Replies
I hope you get answers soon. Being in Limboland is worse than knowing what\'s wrong with you. It\'s tiring. I have to ask- what is CIMS? I even googled it- very confused. Anyway, if you have MS, I suggest you start treatments asap. Your Neuro will guide you down the right road on this... it\'s all a toss up on what works for each of us. I\'m on my 2nd treatment in a year. You are very blessed to have such a wonderful husband and family. Don\'t beat yourself up over the word mix ups and such. I say the sillest things and we laugh at them.. My newest word was \"spaliens\" for trying to say spa aliens.. I forget simple words, leave letters out of text, and use words wrong in sentences. It just happens... every day is different but you learn to appreciate being able to do the smallest of tasks and to slow way down in life. It changed my perspective for the better despite the internal frustrations and \"oh lord why me?\" You have a terrific faith and attitude. Stay stong and keep us updated.
Stacey
I just noticed your comment. Cims is an auto correct fail lol... It\'s supposed to be fibro.