missing you Mommy!
Last night was realily hard, I can't help but thinking how much i could really use a hug from you, I was sitting on the floor in the laundry room folding clothes and I was thinking when the last time I had a really good hug, and the tears started and just wouldn't stop. I know that you were trying to hug me, I could feel you, but ma, the real thing would probably work wonders for me. I miss you with my heart, that pain in my chest has been here and I can't stop thinking about you and that last week with you......there was the "light the night" luncheon with all these survivors and I am so happy to see that some people get thru lymphoma, I just wish you could have been there to tell your story, instead its sharing the most unbearable loss that I have ever had to go thru, its so hard.I am sorry I am not strong like you mommy, I am trying, I can hear you telling me "stop crying cricket, I am here, please stop"... I know how much you hated to see me cry... I am hoping today will be better. I love you and miss you with all my heart! ti amo Mamma, ti voglio tanto bene! Mark put the kids to sleep last night, and I just layed in bed, thinking of you and watching tbo til I fell asleep... not such a great sleep, there were thunderstorms all night and into the morning, and it is still hot and humid. Thank God for a/c... I think I will take the kids to see a movie today. , maybe. I have missed my DS friends, I was down at the beach for 2 weeks with no computer... sometimes that could be a good thing. I missed it !! I had my kids on the beach almost everyday, we went to a water park one day, boardwalk a few days, spent a day on my friends boat, a day at the bay..... it was relaxing. Had a few days where I had a few meltdowns thinking how me and mom used to do our little shopping, share an icecream.... read our corny no brainer books..... Well, I am back now, at least for 3 weeks and then I will head back to the beach for the last few weeks of August before school starts for the kids. Have a great rest of the week! xoxo!
Replies
Awe, this is really sweet. I understand that you are reaching out for your Mom but she is not physically present. Its soo painful. Its like no other pain I\'ve ever known before. She is spiritually present and you are and always will be connected to her in that way. For me that is the only thing that comforts me. That is great that you had a nice time with your family....those distractions from your pain are necessary! You will be okay....your Mom will make sure of that. Love, Joy
I can\'t even begin to imagine how you are feeling..but I want to say that getting out and doing things with your family is a huge help...Kids are the greatest when you are feeling your worst..how is your hubby handling things when you are in your off days? Mine would run and hide under a rock before he would be much help! take care sweety and brighter days are ahead..you must keep the faith.