missing you all, plus rambling where ever my story takes me, HAHA!!
I'm sorry for not being here for everyone, as much as you sweet moms have for me. I love you all more then you know.. I have a hard time with organizing my thoughts and comprehending what I just read.Hahaha!!!!! I want what you moms have, a talent and gift of writting soooo beautiful, as you do...My mind is all over the place.. I'm working on it... I know I need to get back to where I once was, on the beam, sitting quietly with my creator...I need to catch up, I feel lost, I guess I always was lost...I think I got lost being a kid with my kids...LOL...You moms have taught me so much, I know I'm not alone...Life has always been a struggle for me. I didn't realize it until I had to stand here alone. For 30 years I had my hair salon to get lost in. Now I'm soooo lost and am in circles trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up..Other then hair...I want to go back to school for something, but don't know what.. I'm not one for being home everyday.. My mom likes me home, cause she likes me helping her and dad with their things around the house...I keep thinking maybe God is giving me this time to enjoy life with my parents and family.. Basically to stop and smell the roses..I never could do that b/c of the family disease of Alcoholism... Which was normal for me for years, I didn't know any different... We all were a well known family in this small little farm town... Not much of a farm town now though, except my Uncle Dougs farmhouse, he is the speaker of the house for New Hampshire, State House, in Concord N.H...The (capital of N.H).
As a matter of fact, President George Bush Sr. and George W. Bush came to our town twice to visit at my Uncle Dougs Farm House. Right across the street from my Hair Salon....It was very special watching the president with his entourage.
Uncle Doug's farmhouse is in the center of our small town of Stratham N.H..It is a beautiful long rambling old farmhouse sitting on a hill, looking over this hugh valley of land with the most beautiful sunset....15 minutes East, of his house is the atlantic ocean, we are on the border of Maine where the Bush's family own there vacation home in Kennebunkport ME..... 2 hours west of our town, is the White Mountain.
I remember years ago driving by my uncles house, seeing all the cars in their yard. Sunday mornings, were where the townies went if they were into talking politics..I went in nieve as can be, what a mistake, they started to argue, of course they were drinking alcohol. Big mistake, I shouldn't of been there, a fight started and I tried to break it up, lol, Ya, I almost broke my middle finger.. I left in a hurry and never went to a political party again.... lol, Of course I was taught not to talk politics, when owning or working with others... I never got into politics since...I don't like it anyway, I have problems in my own little world, HAHAHA, my excuse, good one huh!! Before i lose this I'll stop.. Thank you for letting me ramble on and on an on. lol.. Love you all, Kelly...
As a matter of fact, President George Bush Sr. and George W. Bush came to our town twice to visit at my Uncle Dougs Farm House. Right across the street from my Hair Salon....It was very special watching the president with his entourage.
Uncle Doug's farmhouse is in the center of our small town of Stratham N.H..It is a beautiful long rambling old farmhouse sitting on a hill, looking over this hugh valley of land with the most beautiful sunset....15 minutes East, of his house is the atlantic ocean, we are on the border of Maine where the Bush's family own there vacation home in Kennebunkport ME..... 2 hours west of our town, is the White Mountain.
I remember years ago driving by my uncles house, seeing all the cars in their yard. Sunday mornings, were where the townies went if they were into talking politics..I went in nieve as can be, what a mistake, they started to argue, of course they were drinking alcohol. Big mistake, I shouldn't of been there, a fight started and I tried to break it up, lol, Ya, I almost broke my middle finger.. I left in a hurry and never went to a political party again.... lol, Of course I was taught not to talk politics, when owning or working with others... I never got into politics since...I don't like it anyway, I have problems in my own little world, HAHAHA, my excuse, good one huh!! Before i lose this I'll stop.. Thank you for letting me ramble on and on an on. lol.. Love you all, Kelly...
Replies
I never know where my stories are gonna lead me,hahaha!! funny isn\'t it?!? ADD, I guess, lol...
You ding bat! Of course you give as much as you receive here!!! What a twit! LOL!
I love your ramblings...I always learn something new! I can just see your tiny self in an oak paneled room with is a bunch of drunk politians trying to stop a fight!!! TOO funny!
On a more serious note, I have no idea if this time with your parents is the whole of what you need to be doing right now, but it sure does feel like you\'re being given an opportunity that few get... Perhaps \"relaxing\" in this time and space with them is exactly what you\'re supposed to be doing?? Something only you my dear can figure out for yourself. I wish you the very best there is my sweet, nutty friend!
Oh, and I hope you\'ll be at the retreat in 2012!!!
Your journal is you,,,then Kelly I got to know,,,rambling...but so much fun. Just maybe your parents need you as much as you need them.
We spent a night in Kennebunkport, it was so beautiful there,, you brought some great memoires back of a great family vaca...I\'m glad your writing journals again!!((hugs))
Our journals, for me, represent our need to discover the best lives we can possibly live. I love the way we come and pour out our thoughts; our hearts and beings as we work at finding the needed clarity and direction that will allow us to know the best choice to make or direction to take. It brings healing I think we could not find as well in any other way.
For me surviving this crisis I have faced - to journal has literally saved my life and provided me with a sense of, \'Perhaps, somehow, I may be able to survive this living nightmare after all.\' And I find myself hanging on through another day of what, at times, seems unsurvivable.
((hugs))
:-) Patricia
Grateful that you are writing dear Kelly. You are such a supportive and loving friend to me and there whenever you are here FMO is always a brighter place!
I love the part of the country that you live in and spent many summers as a child in Maine as I grew up in a suburb of NYC and my parents would stop in Kennebunkport before coming to pick my sister and me up in North Brooksville, Maine, not too far from Bar Harbor. Wow, lots of experiences you have had and glad that finger was not broken.
Just keep on keeping on dear heart. You are a seeker and I believe it is very common to wonder what our purpose may be at this point of our lives. I understand my friend.
Lots of love and hope you are feeling better too.
XO Joanie
The big question...what to do now? It appears the opportunity to be with your parents has presented itself and is part of what you need to do now.
More will unfold for you, a talent you have, a hobby you enjoy, a volunteer experience, whatever, it will show itself to you so you will know what to be now. But maybe not when you grow up because let\'s face us, do any of us really grow up? If so, that would be boring and what would we have to look forward to then? Ejoy your time now. Hugs, Amber
I look as journaling as a way of purging whatever is in us....whether it be grief or even joy....we write because it is an exercise of release...more for us than anything but the residual effect is how it affects others...or your words can also be a distress signal that wants the comforting words of others to respond. There should never be an apology for not writing. It is what it is. Sometimes I think of it as a sign that someone is feeling better...because it is usually when we are in our deepest pain that we reach out to be \"held\" and so we write...it is unfortunate but grief is usually our muse. On good days we seem to be able to be away from the desk and just BE. Of course, it is good to know when someone has risen from the pain and can minister to others...give a sign of hope.
Thank you for your journal and your \"rambling\"...I love it....hope and peace for you Kelly...love, dale..brandon\'s mom
I love hearing you reminisce...come here and write whenever you feel like it...I think it is theraputic to write...take gentle care of yourself my friend...Karen
I love you, Kell! Hell, I love your ramblings...half the time, I do not write any journals due to I know that I just ramble on and on and on....but I sure love reading yours! I got your back, girlfriend! We are together on this road for all time....
Kelly, it doesn\'t matter where your story goes or if you think it\'s rambling...it is just good to hear from you! Love to hear your stories! Think of often and glad to hear from you. Hugs, Kim
Your journal was great and I think on the first two years seems right on target..It has been at least 2 year since I put up a tree ...we may never put one up again...I think it is just lack of energy for me...Christmas was always my favorite season but that has now gone...so many things...so many changes...but your journals are encouraging...Sandi
Well I am way down here in the \"parking lot\". I just wanted to say that it is so nice to see your journal writing. Even rambling can be interesting. ~Leda