Missing my Friends

Most the time  I'm tryin to figure out...what appen...!..?
Just the other day i was chattin with my friends... then 4 some reason I just got Dazed and Confused.... Yepp.... Nope I didn't smoke no Herbs...
Most all my local friends... well all of em eggzackly have move away... yepp... greeener pastures I reckon.. gotta go with the flow rite... me I seem to be stuck...
In a creek that quit runnin...yepp no current at all just still and evaperatin at an alarmin rate... purrty soon I'm gonna have to just live in the Mud... hahahaha...
Gee remember when it felt good to squish the mudd between ya toes... splash thru the water puddle... Piss Mom off big time  hahahaha... but hey it was fun ...Right...?
See there be where I'm stuck lately... in the memories of a forgotten past.... cause i don't like what the Future looks like... Nope I don't... I don't feel like I belong any more... kind of a old fart... mostly scared of what I can't control...
I'm not tryin to hold on to my youngth any more... heck don't even know if I can spell it rite... but hey...i aint eggzackly  growin old with any Grace.. geesh i aint even old enuff to be this old...
most the time I can't figure out what's what.... between the times i enter a room and wonder was I comein in or goin out... and the real kicker is i wonder if i was comein in  ...what for.. and if I was goin out... why am I still here...????
I look at my kids.. the ones that done grown up and got families of their own.. I worry for em... I don't dwell on it... no I'm not gonna do that.. I got my own thingys to work on... a 10 year old 20 year old.. that's growin a little each day.. heck 4 long he might just grow up and well I wonder then what...?
I spent all my life tryin to be what my Parents were NOT...you know  ...  like givin love and showin my kids I support their ideas.. and even if I didn't I'd bite my tounge and let em learn the old school way...
its been a long road ... gettin from here to there... well in my mind it's gettin from there to here... hahahaha...
I just gotta keep prayin.. hopein... believein... that my faith can  help me hang on.. one Day at a Time... Thank you amen...
to all my friends.. It's  a great comfort knowin ya there... Yepp I could use a big old hugg about now..
Best wishes to all... always.... Russ