Missing My Big Brother!!

I lost my big brother 25 days ago. He was alone and went unexpectedly. He had some health issues but nothing that should have caused this to happen. Even though we lived in different states, we were very close. We spoke with each other on the phone practically everyday. Sometimes even more then once a day. I can't comprehend what has happened. It does not seem real. Everyday I 'm waiting for the phone to ring and to hear him tell me he is ok. I have so much guilt inside. Maybe if I would have had him live with me, he still would be here today. I would have been able to take care of him and he would have had family around him. I can barely eat and sleep.My mind won't shut off. I wake up every morning with a sick feeling inside, wondering how am I going to make it through the day. Every minute is a struggle. I try to do the everyday chores and it feels like I am just going through the motions. I am in a deep fog. The tears keep falling. How am I going to go on without him?? My life here on earth as I always knew it, is changed forever. I will never see life in the same way again. If only I can give him a hug and a kiss  and tell him how much I love him. It hurts so bad!! I miss my brother so much!! Thank you for listening.