Missing Mike more than ever

My dear friends, it is unbelievable how I am feeling.  I have strayed off the path of getting myself together and going on.  It is two days until my Birthday, and four days until the one year anniversary of Mike's passing.  I am in such emotional turmoil, it is unbelievable.
I have been crying more in the last month thinking back over all the events that occured in the last month of Mike's life.  I was doing so well, and I am guessing these strong emotional feelings as we all approach the year mark are very normal.  I can't share with anyone else but my friends at DS who do understand and I am thankful to have you all to be here.   I haven't been hiding my head, I have been going to work everyday and trying to do everything normal people do, so I do feel that this does happen and will probably happen again.  Acceptance of one's death is one thing, but when you have spent years and years with the person you have become one with, the loss is so devastaing that they can not be replaced or forgotten overnight.  It takes a long time to heal which I don't think will ever be complete.
I thank you, DS, and my friends for being here when I need you.  Thank you for letting me get this out.
As ever,
Ree