missing mom

It was one of the day when memories of mom came harder then normal. I wish she was still alive to share our life together, I wish she had shared more what we did not get to talk. She is the missing link in my life, wish she could have talked more and we had lot more time to spent together. I dont who she had lived and coped with her life taking all the abuse and raising us at the same time. I wish we could have more and more. I know she might have cleared so much stuff in head related to my life. But she had very little time to live for? So many people were happy on this celebration but i was sad, full of pain and misery. I missed you MOM so so so so badly,, you complete me. Like always this is one of my top wish that if you can come back to me me just for one week so I could talk and talk and ask everything I have never told u or u never told me. I am sorry mother I have let u down, but I hope this is the last chance for me to prove it. Once i am successful i will do everything in my power to prove it to you. I will take back what has been taken from us, I promise my mother. I wish the divine energy or power gives you another life to come back to me. only i can wish only i can wish. You know mom how much i am suffering, i know u r looking down at me and giving me hope, strength and power you had to live your life. Your life has given me the reason to live and stay strong in this planet. You also know that there are very terrible times when i go down on my knees and cry hard very hard to call your name and ask for your forgiveness and wish that you can come back to me. I have spent a long time of life being scared and not being accepted and you have seen through me live like that. But now i have managed to jump on to the happy boat and i need your help, your strength. Please mom help me and come and heal me with you strong love and power. I am sorry i have let you down, i wish i could had done so much to be a better and different person? LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU MOM,,,,,you are the best relation a man could have...))) xxxxxxxxx