Missing him
Last night I cried in the shower but it wasnt a hysterical crying, it was healing to just let the tears roll down my face. I'm grieving the loss of what's never going to be again. My H called the kids this morning and I talked to him for a few minutes, proud to say I kept it together, no crying, just a what's up and talk to you later. But I'm not going to lie, I miss him and hearing his voice and not the usual "I lov u" at the end of the conversation was tough. Even though my heart hurts it's not an unbearable pain like it used to be. I feel strong but at the same time I'm just waiting for a breakdown, for everything to just come down crashing down on me, today I just feel like my heart is going to explode in a million pieces. I feel so pathetic - I just want to talk to him!!!! Please God give me the strenght to just keep it together, I have better days and I know better days will come.
Replies
I know how you feel. I have only spoken to my wife though email and she has never had nothing nice to say. I miss her voice and everything that was good with us. I miss the I love you at the end of our conversations. Its tough for me to know that my marriage is failing and I can probibly never fix it. But, I have to know that she chose a path that I cannot follow. I pray everyday that I will be able to fix my marriage but, I just dont feel it is in the cards. So I stay as strong as I can through these times and focus on the man I need to be to lead a better life for myself and my future. I feel your pain and I am here if you ever want to talk. God bless and stay strong!
i know your feeling. my stbx came and moved out the rest of his stuff yesterday and i thought i was ready for it but quickly realized i was not. i had a fit after he left and never felt more helpless. but i got up this morning feeling better. i just hope i can hold on. i will be praying for you.
sonny and memory - praying for you and sending you good thoughts your way - remember stay stong you are not alone - we are going to make it!!!