miss him so much

well here it is, another day without him and I am lost, sad, confused, mad, were getting our home back  why did this have to happen? I just do not understand, things were finally going to get better,we were getting our home back and he was going to start a trucking job that he could have been home every day. I was job hunting, the kids was happy. Why God? why did you take him? what did I do to cause myself and my family this pain? He was 47, that's to young to die, I thought we would be 80, 90 years old together,still having fun, going places doing things.I never expected this,I don't guess anybody does.I feel so lost.