Miserable
Well time to write, I'm miserable no energy, motivation, appetite went to the doc last week she gave me Xanax for my anxiety, I guess depression is setting in as I am sleeping way too much, and doing a whole lot of nothing. Feel pathetic... You are dead I have life And can't get myself excited about anything... What am I searching for ...I should be walking the dogs, exercising eating right at the very least. Friends call to go out and I have no desire to be around people and do anything....when oh when will this pass... I want to be happy
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Tracy.... I don\'t know what to say - but, I love you and am sorry you are feeling so down. I will always be here if you want to talk... 24/ 7. Really - anytime!! Are you in CA now? I\'d love to connect with you - if and when you are up for it. How about a hike? Love ya... Linda
Hi Tracy: So sorry to read that you are feeling miserable today. I, too, am here for you. If you\'d like we can be online buddies & check in with each other, just to know someone else is there for you and in a way that doesn\'t take a lot of energy. I saw you set up a Facebook site and hope that, that will help to fill some of your time. Helping others, always seems to help ourselves.
I don\'t recall (without looking back) when your husband passed away. Mine is almost 2 years. Will be 2 years in March. Your husband died from something I had; esophageal cancer. So our paths cross in a couple of ways.
I\'ll be happy to share some ideas I have for filling time, without taking a lot of energy. Also, have you found a grief support group to connect with in your area? I went to one not long after my husband passed away at the hospital. It lasted about 7-8 weeks - 1 day a week, but at least 8-10 of us girls have lunch every month and have done so for about 1 1/2 years. We have all commented on how nice it is to have stay connected in that way.
Hang in there and know you are not alone. Hugs, Brenda
Tracy...I am so sorry you are having such a difficult time...I have days that bring me down but I try my hardest to tell myself that my husband would not be happy if I continued to not live life as he was so happy for each day he was given. Have you gone to grief support or counseling. I attended a Grief Support Group put on by Hospice about 9 months after my husband passed
and it really helped me being around people that were going through the same issues as I was. I also went back to the Therapist that my husband and I had gone to as a couple when we found out he was terminal. And that also helped me. Also my job keeps me busy and my mind occupied which is also very helpful. Happiness is what you make of it...we will never have our spouses back ...but I have children and grandchildren that make me happy in a very special way...I hope you can find the answer to help you through this dark period....there is light at the end...Hugs, Ellen
Hi, my new friend,
I am sorry you are feeling this way and sending hugs......I seem to be feeling similarly. I did \'ok\' for a while but the holiday \'season\', our 23 y/o son being home on college break but in and out in and out so I was always feeling the separation(now back at school in Boston) and then I got a bug that kept me in bed.....I feel inert and as if I could just stay here for a long while.....maybe years....sooooooo, I have some sense of your struggle. But it makes me sad that you are feeling so. You have done a lot for others.......and I think you have a true ability to comprehend what is going on. You are in a process of
trying to let a new self evolve and a new life flow from that......very very hard....right now nothing appeals, nothing feels right. But I think you have taken a good step in seeing your doc and doing something for you....depression often sets in when the anxiety just gets to be too much.
Thank you for being my friend...I am here for you too. know that I am thinking about you and hoping the next step that will be good for you will become clear and manifest itself to you very soon. Many gentle hugs......
Thank you all, I spent hours on the phone today with my brother and BFF both very understanding and supportive, I also made an appointment with a grief counselor for thursday... Good news today is that I had to get my butt out of bed and straighten up my mess of a house as its for sale and a potential buyer is coming to look tomorrow , I shall pray pray pray they fall in love and buy it which will then cause more heartache and anxiety as I will need to find a place to live and move, which is what i want to do, but still okay to get emotional about another sadness related to Jim\'s death ....must say Xanax helped calm me today ....better days ahead....my father in law died dec 28th buried next to Jim and a high school friend diagnosed with bike duct liver cancer and things don\'t sound good so lots of triggers in What I thought was going to be a happy new year, with all good intentions.... Thank you all again for your kind words of support it helps so very much... Hugs to all Tracy
I\'m glad you are feeling a bit better now that you have been able to talk it out a bit. That is so important. I understand what you are saying about hearing of someone else that has to fight the battles ahead with desease, and know that it\'s possible that yet another person has to feel this kind of heartache. Everytime I see a new member here, it hurts my whole heart. I\'m so happy they found this place, but so saddened that they had to at all. I woldn\'t wish the pain involved with losing the love of your life on anyone.
What you did with your website and the faces of widowhood is amazing. I have been there and posted as well. You are helping so very many people, and that is just so beautiful. don\'t forget to take care of you!!!
I hope that SOON you get to FEEL that HAPPY that you want to be. Just that you want it is everything. HUGS Diane
Tracey the feelings you expressed in your journal are all hitting us some days harder than others. I am glad you are feeling better. You wonderful posts over the past several months have been an inspiration to me. That grief monster affects all of us now and again and know we are here for you too when you need us, Hugs Lu Ann
Sorry to hear. Especially since you are further along on this horrific journey than I, making me realize I will never wake from this nightmare. God help us all. Take care.