Misery

Well, I'm still at the residential centre but it won't be for long.  I'm on program contract which means I have to try extra hard to make it to programs or I get kicked out.  I haven't made it to any since.  I don't care either.  I'm looking forward to being kicked out.  It will just prove to me what I already know....that I always mess things up so why even bother trying. 
 
I'm mad tonight.  There is a casual staff on over night...and casual staff always hover over you when you take your meds.  I hate that.  Most nights I over-medicate.  Tonight I was being watched too closely.  I need to remember to sign my meds out and keep some separate from the ones that stay in the office.
 
I'm thinking of getting rid of the majority of my belongings and moving half-way across the country.  Maybe Ottawa.  I don't know though.  Really I would rather just be invisible and out of the reach of my family and friends controlling grasp.